Jumping Back In

Hi all!

It’s been ages. I’ve made promises. I’ve broken them. But hey, I don’t have an obligation to anyone.

Short list of things that have been up since Ive been here:

• I’ve been subbing, it’s been great! I’m learning so much about myself as a beginning teacher (soon) and also a bunch from observing other teachers in action
• I’m also working at a preschool as a one-to-one aid. This is great for two reasons: 1. The kids are super cute and they make me smile daily 2. I know that, as cute as preschool kids are, I really do not not not want to be a preschool teacher. I need something that has a bit more intellectual chutzpah.
• I applied to graduate school and was accepted! I am almost certain I know where I’ll be in two years (more on that in a minute) and I’ll share that with you when I confirm it
• I’m also a Fulbright Fellow to Taiwan for this coming year! Those of you who read my blog before will know that one of the reasons I was kind of absent of late was because I was working hard on my application. Then there was the waiting and anticipation. That’s over though, and off I go at the end of July! For those of you who will want to follow that journey, see my travel blog–>A Case of Wanderlust
• I’ve been seeing a naturopath for a few health issues, and I expect I’ll be talking more about that in coming posts. Nothing good nutrition can’t fix, and I’ve already been on my way with that. This is really the first time I’ve taken up my health by myself as an adult and boy, does it feel great!
• Due to the above reasons, my diet has changed a bit more. I’m currently on the anti inflammatory diet, which means that I’ve recently (in the past two months) cut out wheat/gluten, sugar, tomatoes, corn,peanuts, citrus, and potatoes, among other things. Much more on this to come. It has been great for the most part, but there are some things I miss
• I’m also doing seed cycling. For those of you who wonder what this is, I’m going to post about it at some point as well, not that I’m an expert yet.
• Recipes. I have some things I’ve been trying. In fact, I’m about to pop into the kitchen to try out a gluten free version of the black bean brownies I made forever and a day ago. This time using rice flour instead of wheat bran. The beans are currently soaking and cooling down (I had boiled them to help them soften, any tips for making this process go faster?).

So that’s me, currently.

Also of note:

Gingerbread waffles.

Yeah. There are two. For one person. I ate both. Happily.

Never try this tea.

This is bad.

I bought it hoping it would be all delicious and helpful in calcium consumption. WRONGO! It had a weird slimy thing going on and didn’t taste much better. Kind of like a mix between slime and chalk? Okay, so it wasn’t that bad, it had a flavor (cherry?) but it wasn’t natural tasting at all. I also just prefer herbal teas.

DO make this:

1/3 cup oat bran (my favourite), 1/2 apple, apple spice tea (use as the liquid) I think that is a square of chocolate? Can’t remember what kind though.

 

I love the texture of oat bran. I had this a while ago because on my current anti inflam thing, I haven’t been able to eat oats/bran, because they might contain gluten.

just go buy some gluten free oats -DUH

yeah. I just haven’t gone to that store/forked over the extra money.

I made donuts for the first time!

Lemon Raspberry donuts.

My siblings loved them:

Give us a smile, E!

I promise you, he was thrilled.

G, my little sister pronounced them, ‘better than dunkin donuts!’ which is saying something.

yeah.

 

That’s enough for now.

Cheers!

Love, Hannah

 

 

 

 

 

Pie- Oh My!

I’ve been home for about a week now and have been settling back into life in boring old Upstate New York.

If you know me, you know that I’ve got major phone phobia. Earlier in the week,  the phone rang.  Unaffected, I sat in my chair, typing away (probably on pinterest….)

‘You going to get that?’ I shouted, as Mom hurried down the stairs, grabbing the phone on its last ring.

Mom talked and walked for a bit (as Moms do) and announced that we had both been invited to a book club meeting of someone she knows through E’s boy scout troop.

‘Mrs. W thinks very highly of you Hannah, I would be flatted,’ Mom told me

‘Oh, I am!’ I replied, truly tickled to have been invited along, as an affirmation of my movement into adult life.

‘And she’s made a pie.’ Mom continued, ‘which you must plan on eating if you’re going to go’

Silence.

It has been year since I’ve eaten a piece of pie. Sure, I’ve had pie, if by ‘had pie’ you mean a spoon/fork/finger full, one berry, bit of crust, or crumb from the topping. An entire piece? Not so much.

.

To be honest, my first thought was, ‘what kind?’ then, ‘I wonder if you could handle this…’ closely followed by, ‘god, no you can’t have pie!’

.

Reading my mind, Mom told me it was to be Strawberry Rhubarb. Before my family members developed our respective food difficulties (allergies, eating disorders, intolerances, etc) Mom and Dad used to spend all day in the garden, harvesting our now fallow beds. Often, they would pick our strawberry plants bare and cut down the thick stalks of rhubarb and Mom would make a strawberry rhubarb crisp or pie.

I’d always be able to smell it cooking in the oven. Juices bubbling, sweet strawberries melding with tart rhubarb underneath a perfectly browned crust. As a small child, I’m pretty sure I had piece after piece, not caring about sugar, fat, or calories.

Memories of childhood combined with my affinity for adults and books won out and come thursday, we were in the car on our way.

I’m not sure whether it was the fact that neither Mom nor I had read the book (not having been given time) or the deadly pie sitting under saran wrap on the table that impeded my ability to pay compete attention  to the discussion of the book, but my mind was wont to wonder.

Just as I thought she was going to forget all about the gooey creation, she pulled out a book, read us a rather touching excerpt from the book, Making Piece, and transitioned into the kitchen with a pie slicer.

.

As she cut the pie, Mrs. W asked whether everyone would be having a piece. I stifled the small urge to decline, and gravitated towards the piece which had been placed in front of my mother. Sitting around the table, Mrs. W explained that this recipe had been her mother’s and we began to eat.

Not this pie, but it looked a lot like this

The first mouthful and I am suddenly 10 again, before my life was complicated, before I was constantly aware of my body. The two fruits were combined just as I remembered, the crust, I left for last as always. Everyone else seemed to enjoy their pieces, which is how eating should be. A lovely social activity.

As I take another forkful, I realise that I’m not exactly sure how to eat pie anymore. Why can’t I dip it in nut butter? Put yogurt all over it? Where is my mini fork and my festive plate? No, it’s just me, a fork, and a plate full of pie. This experience is meant to be truly mindful, and I’m suddenly aware. I don’t shovel it in, but my bites are normal, as my tongue rejoices in flavours I haven’t tasted full on in years.

‘Does anyone want another piece?’ Mrs. W asks, although none of us have finished.

My inner child, peaking out from behind Ed’s grip yells, ‘Oh me! Yes, the entire pie please!’ But my 21 year old self remains silent. I know that one piece is enough. And I am proud for having let myself eat that piece.

Who knows, maybe this is the start of my renewed relationship with pie.

After all, our rhubarb plant is getting kind of big….

Love, Hannah

On Failure and Brains

Burns on the finger. no good.

All sorts of misfortunes are happening around these parts! I burnt my finger whilst making that bread the other day.

Fun Fact: All my burns take the same shape because they are the shape of the bars in the oven!

another one bites the dust.

I used to worry about being sad because I had to leave all my dinnerware in London when I flew home. At this point it doesn’t matter because oddly enough, I have broken it all!! This bowl was the last to go. When did I get so clumsy?

well, it was almost successful.

See this bread? Our oven is such a nonworking piece of rubbish that I had to slice the bread and put it on the grill in order for it to cook!

Well, THAT’s an awful picture.

Lucky this chocolate was only £1 because it is probably the worst dark chocolate I’ve ever had! Just doesn’t even melt in your mouth at all. Sainsbury’s £0.35 chocolate tastes 10x better!

ONSLAUGHT

messymessymessy

size reference needed.

sad times friends, sad times.

Basically that progression shows the end of term onslaught of clubbing posters no one bothers to read. As if every single person in our flat needs to read a separate one….

Fail number many = our kitchen and how no one (except me) bothers to clean it. The cleaner and I have a special bond because I feel so bad for him every time he comes in to see it in its naturally messy state. And this picture? That is it when it is CLEAN.

Fail next= protein powder almost win. My flat mate left for the US on monday and left a whole bunch of his things in the kitchen for us to free range on. One of the things he left was a hot kettle, which I helped myself to since we’ve already got two in the kitchen.

The other was this GIANT thing of protein powder (see picture of hand above for size comparison). I was PUMPED to try all the awesome protein powder recipes I’ve been reading about online and pinning, etc. BUT this protein powder had SPLENDA in it? Seriously guys? Who puts nonnutritive sweeteners in something that is supposed to be good for you? I was majorly bummed. There went all my hopes of making protein pancakes and protein bread and protein bars and protein frosting and protein shakes. Sad times.

Fun fact: purple cabbage does turn your fingers purple!

I read an article today about nutritive and nonnutritive sweeteners in hopes of finally coming to an understanding of what the heck sugar and splenda and the like are for. I can’t bring myself to ingest those artificial things, yet find Stevia to be okay. I don’t do granulated sugar much, but fruit sugar is okay. I want to know more about it. I guess I can’t eschew something entirely. No one should, it is unbalanced.

On that note. But not really on that note at all. Today I went to the Wellcome Collection to see the exhibit on Brains with my friend S, who I will be living with next year. It was a really fascenating exhibit with brains of people on display, instruments, casts of brains, blood vessels, spinal chords, medical cool sciency stuff. No pictures allowed though, so I had to do without.

Lunch was delicious curry hummus atop some crispbreads with roasted onions and cinnamon and herbs. I’m a huge fan of this lunch but am now out of the hummus

perfection.

On life: I decided to rescind my application to be unit director at the camp this summer because of the conflict with the two Fulbright essays that would have been due smack dab in the middle of the camp season. It was disappointing, but cliche as it may sound, when one door closes (even if you shut it yourself) another opens. I emailed my brother’s teacher to ask whether there were any opportunities to volunteer or observe in the summer school classroom and she emailed me back saying the school board wondered if I would be a personal literacy tutor to three families who could not afford or could not get to summer school!

I immediately said yes! I’m so excited because I’m really interested in literacy ,especially ways in which different forms/philosophies of education approach reading and learning to read. This will give me an opportunity to work with the school district and see a bit of behind the scenes. I couldn’t be more thrilled.

Moral of the story? Don’t be afraid to ask because you think you will fail. There is no such thing as an outrageous question. Sometimes you can get something you never imagined if you only ask.

Love, Hannah x

Heat Wave

If you know me, you know that I hate hot weather. (Says the girl who is setting off to Morocco in a few weeks and is applying to work in Taiwan)

Yes, it’s true. I’ve said it. I hate summer.

Maybe a bit harsh, and perhaps I don’t hate all of it, but I really do dislike hot weather. Unless I’m swimming in a lake. Then I’m fine.

Just a couple of weeks ago we had this:

sun dappled hammocks

Everything was beautiful and shadows were cast of two friends in a park

see us?

There was even foreboding, ominous sky.

Such contrast of light and dark.

Regents Park gave us sunshine that shone through leafless trees

I love trees.

(HUGE trees?

In break from my poetic banter, I don’t know why that picture is so big. I’m no good with formatting….)

Birds aplenty.

huddles

what beautiful feathered feat

and some springtime babies! This is a blurry picture because I snapped it as the baby duckling was flapping its wings because it was just so darn cute! I hope you can sort of see…

Fly away!

Skies were blue and buildings were tall.

Okay, this one has always been tall.

I love Barbican.

Days were brisk, but perfect for fruit at Borough Market. Yes, I finally got around to taking some pictures!

I love strawberries. But they are one pricy fruit!

and veg, of course.

lovely greens.

and a…thanksgiving spread?

gobble gobble….I would.

But of course, we all know that I go to Borough Market for the samples.

This was mustard. All mustard.

My favourite condiment**? Mustard! They had wasabi and truffle and fig and just so many!!

**savoury. Nut butter is in its own category, obviously.

I’ve heard this is great. Haven’t gotten it yet though.

it was seriously cheeeeeeeesy

They’ve got so many great samples at Borough. Favourites include: Jams, rosemary flavoured olive oil, white balsamic reduction, CHEESE and the most wonderous mushroom pate. Seriously, I don’t know how they do it.

I will be missing the market lifestyle when I’m back in the states. Anyone know cities that have good sample opportunities markets?

Tomorrow I’m off to the Imperial War museum with a friend. I can’t wait!! Hopefully it isn’t quite so hot though, I’m going to ride the bus. No tubing for me in this weather, I’d imagine they are stifling.

Hannah x

When in Doubt, Dance About

fewf! I just spent the last 10 minutes dancing wildly around my room and am now wildly out of breath.

Well Great Hannah, you are now ready for dancing with the stars.

Not by half, but hear me out. When you are stressed, there is nothing like expending super amounts of energy to loud music to help you calm down and centre yourself. Today’s picks were:

Magic Carpet Ride for a nice warm up followed by the all out energy burst of Outkast.

Sure, we all get stressed from time to time and this is one of my favourite ways to cope. Not all my coping skills are and have been healthy, bus this one is one of the best. Others include:

-Knitting
-Meditating
-Drawing
-Blogging
-Singing
-Going for a walk/run
-Journaling
-also: 

Why am I stressed this time? Since the beginning of the year, or really, since second term last year, I’ve been in the process of applying for an ETA (English Teaching Assistantship) Fulbright Felloship.

In all its glory

The Fulbright is a US Government funded felloowship that gives post grads the chance to either teach or do research in another country for a year as emissaries of the US.  I’m applying to Taiwan, the country where my sister and brother were born and where my great grandparents lived and taught English themselves.

Taiwan, Formosa.

Taiwan, in case you’re one of those oddly confused people (which I sincerely hope you are not) is not Thailand. It is also not China. It is its own country off the coast of China.

I am lucky because my college has one of the highest acceptance rates in the country for Fulbright Fellowships. Lucky as I am, however, this also means that the process of applying is very daunting. You must first register your interest, then submit a questionnaire to the FPA (Fulbright Programs Ambassador, DA, as I like to call him). If you are approved to continue, you will be admitted into the program and given a whole new set of links protected by password. You will then register with a 23 page document, which will lead you on to another 23 page document (where I am now) which has two 10 page documents (where I also am) which work within and feed into it.

If this sounds confusing or daunting, just don’t forget that this all comes with mountains of pages to read and strict deadlines to which to adhere. Next up will be drafting and writing two essays and meeting to secure affiliates and cultural enrichment programs. Did I mention I was also applying for a Language Enhancement Grant (LEG HA) to improve my Chinese?

I may or may not look a little like this right now:

fuming.

Literal pressure. Not to mention that I’ve applied for a job as the Unit Director at a summer camp back home. There are two problems with this:

1. The job begins 17 June. I fly home 17 June. They’ve said I could be there in the morning 18 June. Which gives me about 10 hours with my family (minus sleep) before I jet off again for another month.

2. I’ve got to have two Fulbright essay drafts in by 15 July, which is, as luck would have it, smack dab in the middle of the camp season.

So I have no idea whether I’ll take the job or not. Great money, awesome summer outside with kids? Of course. But also time is of the essence here and there is no computer access there.  So either I work myself with nose to the grindstone for the next two weeks before I go to Morocco, or I say, no thanks, to the job.

Why is life so hard?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With that off my chest, we can move along to something a bit more aesthetic.

Unidentified Flying Egg Discs!

Only….I just told you what they were, so no surprises there.

UFEDS!

I probably slathered these with yogurt, cinnamon and nut butter, if I know myself well enough to discern that….

You know what I love about the Holland and Barrett Penny sale?

swirly

Having to buy multi vitamins and realising that sunflower seeds in a 500g bag are only 1p. Winning.

Once more, with feeling

baby, come closerrrrr

You know what’s even better?

roasty toasty

When the fixer people FINALLY come to fix your hob/oven after it has been broken for a week and you can roast your sunflower seeds.

and add melted chocolate to it.

I’m drooling.

Okay, that is seriously enough nut butter pictures.

I’ll disappoint you now and tell you that those have been gone for a week and replaced by plain peanut butter.

Somehow, it just looks better messy.

I told myself that I’d be okay buying the sunflower seeds because they would last me until I went home.
False.

I told myself, ‘Okay, so you’ll probably only need one 200g bag of peanuts to last you until you go home’

False.

Guess I actually eat more nut butters than I thought I did? Good for me, TAKE THAT ED!

We are the best of friends, obviously.

All the smiles.

Bloggers have gotten flack for having posted pictures of themselves with nut butter before, but I’ll just say that nut butter has saved my life and helped my recovery, so I can and will post pictures like this because they DO express the relationship we have. My mom always says, ‘thank god for nut butter!’ and you know, she is right!

What we have is real okay? (in a lighthearted voice, mind you)

Here is a nice ending note, in case you DO believe that posting pictures of oneself with jars of drippy nut fat is not a-okay.

Brixton at dusk.

I’m really glad to have time for blogging. It makes me smile. YOU make me smile.

Hannah x

Mellow Mondays

Monday.

Why does everyone hate it so? I’ve never felt that drag of a feeling everyone describes as, ‘the mondays,’ but I can feel a bit of a general drag today.

Because my exams are now over, as of friday (yay!), I’m left with basically two free weeks until I’ve got Field Day

Music all day!

on 2nd June and then a couple more days until I go to Morocco!

Fez

Rabat

So until June, I’m completely unoccupied.

Being a person given to Anxiety, I’ve made myself a giant list of things to do if I feel lonely, anxious or bored. One of those was to go to the Wellcome Collection today, after I returned my books to the library. But apparently someone is testing me, because nothing on my list if open on mondays!

Resigned to sit on my bed all day (kidding) I’ve been cleaning out and organising my internet bookmarks. Seriously? Do I really need five links to the same cauliflower pizza crust? Why on earth do I have that article from 5 years ago in my bookmarks folder named, ‘awesome youtube,’ and what on earth does the folder ‘banana’ contain (hint: it isn’t banana recipes).

I’ll share with you some of the fun links I found though, because it is as much fun for me to rediscover them as it was to find them the first time.

1. 43 Things - This website lets you set goals, see others who have the same goals as you, and cheer and be cheered. You can check off when you’ve accomplished something and write a little blurb about it.

2. Wedding Gawker- I’m assuming you’ve all seen Food Gawker (another favourite of mine) but if you haven’t found yourself its Wedding component, set aside some hours. For a girl who hasn’t even ever dated someone, I love to dream on this site.

3. Regretsy- You guys know Etsy, right? Well this site is like etsy, but the products have gone a bit….off. Where else can you find cinnabon earrings, foaming cake batter body wash, and top 5 bag overalls.

4. Sporcle- Sporcle gives you timed quizzes based on a given topic of your choice. My first year room mate was constantly on this site, and I’ve since developed a similar fondness, although cannot say to have spent nearly as much time quizzing as she had The quizzes are actually good for learning as well, such as countries in Africa or name the presidents.

5. The Oatmeal- I surprise myself sometimes with what I find and enjoy online. I wouldn’t peg myself as a webcomic reader, but this blog has some really hilarious things such as the one I’ve linked to where the author describes just what we mean when we say, ‘literally’ It’ll make you think thrice before you say it again, or at least laugh as you use it incorrectly!

So besides refinding joy in the internets, what have I been doing with myself? My friend S and I went to see Foster the People a couple weekends ago. It was a pretty good show- they even played the same song twice (we had a talk about whether this was by accident or not)

Bad lighting good friends.

I would have to say though, that my favourite part was the lighting. It was so dark and we were way up in the balcony (which is what you get with £15 tickets) but we could hear (everything but each other) and see the light show.

Brixton.

Brixton is lovely at dusk.

There was one point when bubbles came down from the ceiling, but we couldn’t get under them because we were on the balcony.

balloons or bubbles?

I’ve done the dark room-wet bubble/foam thing, if you remember, and it wasn’t fun.

**** Me, It’s Easter foam cannons were SUCH a night ruiner.

Beams of light

My friend D and I have walked around London some, Borough Market (DELICIOUS MUSHROOM PATE!) and Tate Modern (strange). We came across this and he had to take a picture with his fancy film camera in B&W.

I’ve always wanted one of these pictures.

Obviously, I wasn’t paying attention.

D and I also found an interesting nonconformist colouring book at a local bookshop. I will be getting this for my kids.

anti tradition

D got one of those super fancy swirly coffee drinks.

AND I got to see the barista do it!

I’ve been to Borough Market many times, and yet I never feel quite right about taking pictures while I’m there. I might go again later this week and see whether I can overcome this because if you want to see food beautifully presented, Borough is your place! So I took an awkwardly close picture of myself instead on my walk home?

All awkwardly photoshopped so that you can NOT see all my pores.

Oh, and those are ear phones, not supersonic bionic silver ears or giant earrings. And you thought I was starting a new trend.

I promise that once I get home and have access to some assemblance of schedule and more picture taking, I won’t do mostly photo/mind dump posts. I realise they can be difficult to follow.

But while we are on the topic of being random, I’ve got these ‘table talk’ cards from home that somehow made their way into my suitcase (I blame…..Mom encouraging me to be social?) The first question on it is, ‘If you could get a VIP pass into any special event, what would you attend? What would be the best way to celebrate it?’ My answer? Well, 3rd June is the Jubilee here, and I would love VIP tickets to get to spend the day with the Queen and get to know her and have fun together. I’d celebrate by eating eaton mess with her in a beautiful garden somewhere.

I’m off to work on my Fulbright and listen to Queen

Love, Hannah x

Just a Little Misunderstood

Although no one likes to admit it, when they need to know something, where do they head?

Wikipedia, of course.

Yes, even educated individuals. It doesn’t get any easier than Wiki’s easy breakdowns by topic, year, or whatever other organisational method they’ve got going on.

My friends, I am a private liberal arts college student, and I use Wikipedia.

But the other day,  I found through stumbleupon, an article about misheard lyrics. Most were pretty stupid, but some were funny.

**side note: if you haven’t checked stumbleupon out, do it not. At the risk of it eating up all your time. But in all seriousness, it’s worth it because you find things you might never have stumbled upon before; hence the name.

There are so many songs that you hear and automatically repeat, without thinking about the lyrics. And when you DO think about the lyrics, you don’t really know what they’re saying, so you go on saying them anyway.

Or there was that time in elementary school when you thought the words in “Truly, Madly, Deeply” were “Until this guy falls down on me” instead of “Until the sky falls down on me” and sung it everywhere, acting it out.  Or how about OMC’s “How Bizarre” sung “hell bizarre” with a giggle because you were 8 and saying “h-e-double toothpicks?

It just got me thinking about representation and being misunderstood. How can we ever posses enough knowledge about each other to truly understand an action, decision, or motive?

I struggle with how people perceive me. And how I think they will. For example, I’m not a big drinker. My flat mates, notwithstanding the fact that they are 3 years my junior, are big drinkers. Nightly, I’d say. And I want them to want to be with me, but I don’t want to feel like I have to drink in order for them to desire my company.

So do I go with them anyway when they ask? (Which they’ve all but stopped doing), Or should I ask them if I can join? (this feels rude). Most of all, it pains me how much it matters to me that they include me. Sure, I could go find other friends, but isn’t it a shame to live in a flat of people who all go out without you? I’ve got this paradox of living with people whose interests don’t line up with mine.

SO WHY on earth do I feel inadequate? Why should I feel any less because I don’t like to drink and they do? Sometimes I catch myself thinking, well they’re having more fun. Um, no, Hannah. You’re the person who enjoys sitting in a park with a book, or curling up in bed with a book, or a quiet chat in a cafe. You are not keen on getting massively drunk, one night stands, and loud crowded rooms. And you’re not missing much. This might be what they’re into, but you don’t need to measure yourself by their yardstick.

and it’s their problem if they are thinking less of me because I am not conforming to what they are used to. Wouldn’t you know it, each time I’ve declined an offer and stayed in, I woke up the next morning feeling well rested and thankful that I listened to my heart.

This is all part of “finding my tribe” as my mother puts it. I am in the process of finding those people who truly value who I am, even if they are different. It’s a long process, but by golly, don’t ever make yourself be with people who make you feel unworthy or less than.

~~~~~~~

It’s viel viel sunny today!!

HOW CUTE ARE YOU

I kind of want a fox.

and may I share with you a trick I just learned? Don’t pay attention to the fact that I haven’t even got a toaster here or back in the States. Also don’t pretend you haven’t wondered how to make grilled cheese without waiting ages in a frying pan.

oh....wow....this just changed my life.

I love the way chia oats look.

chiah man!

Sweet Hummus. Made it again. Yes. BITE.

I’ve got to make more chestnut spread. In the meantime, I just finished some sweet hummus I’d made. I forget what was in, but it was nice. On wholemeal bread, topped with maca. mmmmm.

ready for my close up. Give me a little cinnamon blush.

I love spreads.

White Chocolate Coconut Peanut Butter

This stuff is good man.

spoon.

There is no need for a recipe. If you have peanut butter/peanuts + white chocolate + coconut (or a white chocolate coconut bar, like I did) you can make this too.

and you’ll be oh so glad you did.

I went to Nando’s recently. If you’ve never been there, there are condiments galore!! I usually get them all on a plate like this. See how excited I am?

OH WOW SAUCES

Other than this. Usual room cleaning. Or scrapbooking.

All the recycling!

I also ran into this article on stumbleupon about How to Rationalise your Pinterest. I’m not addicted yet, but thought it was funny. If you need help with this, this article will make you laugh.

I’m going to see Noises Off! tonight. I played Belinda in high school, and I’ve always wanted to see it done up by someone else. I’m so excited!!

Love, Hannah

ps; I had the BEST pancakes this morning. Stay tuned.

flapjacks

Good Morning!! It’s almost the end of my reading week. Oddly enough, I couldn’t get myself to read for class during the day yesterday but found myself up until half four because I couldn’t stop? Things you get up to, nights….

Let’s take a peak into my life and how I photo-document it awkwardly. Only, the only thing is I don’t usually do that. But for some reason, I decided to and now you’re privy to all my outrageous faces. Also, it is reading week and I’ve got nothing better to do.

On last I woke up and thought I’d make some flapjacks. (Read: my flat mates begged me to make flapjacks and gave me all their pocket change in the form of 1 and 2p coins)

“I think I’ll make some flapjacks! (you see them?)

So I whipped some up. (after going to the store and finding a proper recipe)

look nice but....

Yes, I made them and I tried to get them out of the pan….and I felt like this

"um....I almost got blisters!"

When the recipe called for butter, I don’t think they accounted for the entire stick you’d probably need to keep the darn thing from sticking to the pan.

Sticky little devils

You’d never know.

But get them out I did. They were demolished within two days.

Just thank the UK.

Traditional Flapjacks (and chocolate version)

Adapted from About British Food

• 4 ½ oz/ 6 tbsp Golden Syrup or corn syrup (golden syrup I found at the shops but I think it has to be something a bit sticker than honey)
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 sticks/200g unsalted butter
• 12 oz/330g porridge oats

Preheat the oven to 350°F/180°C/Gas 4 (thank goodness the website told me this; the ovens here and I….well…)

• Butter a 9″x 13″/23cm x 33cm Swiss roll tin and line the base with baking parchment.(they mean butter it- these puppies are sticky!)
• Place the syrup and butter into a large saucepan and heat gently until the butter has melted into the syrup and stir well. Make sure you don’t skimp on the golden syrup. It’s a devil to get out of the jar, but it is the key for holding your ‘jacks together.
• Put the oats into the pot, add a pinch of salt then pour over the butter and syrup mixture and stir to coat the oats.
• Pour the mixture into the prepared tin and spread evenly to fill the tin making sure the surface is even.
• Bake in the preheated oven for 25 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from the oven while the flapjack is still slightly soft, they will harden once cool. (key!)
• Place the tin on a wire cooling rack and cut the flapjack into squares and leave in the tin until completely cold.

Doubled for chocolate version, which included 1/2 a chocolate bar, melted and stirred in.

Like I said. Well received.

~~~~~

Today I walked to Regent’s park to take more surveys for £10. Gotta get your money where you can, eh? I stopped at Regent’s park for a bit and read my book as well, which was wonderful.

Only, it’s warm out?

This survey involved choosing a chocolate and eating it and then answering some questions about your consumption experience. I’ve done one like this before, but I am always keen for an exposure experience. Eating a decadent chocolate is good for me to do once in awhile and to prove that I can identify which chocolate I want, eat it, and savour it- Not take a nibble and save the rest for later, as I would usually do.
I chose the “Framboisine” which was

“Dark chocolate with dark chocolate ganache sprinkled with raspberries bits”

Perfectly dark with hints of fruity raspberry. Just what I wanted. They asked in the survey if I felt guilt or remorse or anxiety or whatever. I felt none of those things. Ed was just quiet as I closed my eyes and took delicious bites of this chocolate, letting it melt on my tongue and sent it’s chocolaty wonder miracles to my brain.
and no. I didn’t gain 5 lbs instantly. and I’m not going to be heavier tomorrow.

Since I’ve been learning to treat myself and listen to my body, I felt good having that chocolate. I’m learning to eat when I’m hungry, and stop when I’m full.
That last thing is something I have trouble with. It’s not a binge, because I carefully plan and portion what I eat AND because I still undereat. It’s a paradox because it shouldn’t be a problem to stuff yourself full of lettuce, but my friends, it can be done. Regardless of what I’m eating, I should be able to let it lie and come back later, or to just stop alltogether. I think it has something to do with

But if I’m full before I’ve finished what is on my plate, I continue until I feel a bit too full. What am I afraid of- waste? In treatment, we were forced to lick our plates with a penalty for anything that remained unfinished. So I feel guilty for not finishing things or for “wasting” food. Again, this has never been like I couldn’t finish a loaf of bread or a giant pan of brownies or something (because I don’t do that), but rather like a bowl of oats, or a kabocha squash.
Although this was years ago, it is subconsciously engrained in my psyche that I must finish everything.

As a recovering Anorexic, it’s difficult to strike a balance. I’m really working on this, as I piece my recovery together. Part of intuitive eating is allowing yourself to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. Does anyone have any tips for this? 

~~~~

On another note, I’ve got things in my fridge I need to do things with. And my friend has commissioned me to make him a Zucchini bread with cream cheese icing.  AND the weekend holds the farmer’s market and perhaps marketing with my flat mate!! Oh the joys. I should consider making it a practise to write down my joys and gratitudes daily, so I can be reminded that although I sometimes feel overwhelmed, there is so much that is going well for me, and it’s getting better all the time.

Cue the song:

I shall leave you with another feel good song. Otis reminds us all to relax and waste some time. Your soul and your mind will thank you.

Love, Hannah

Beet It

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Well, I suppose it’s post v-day now, isn’t it?

I wanted to post about this:

Not Michael Jackson- About beats! But this post has to do with Beets. 

Fun Fact: I took aerobics my first year of college and for a group project we choreographed an aerobics routine to this song!

So I went to the shops in prep.

Bargains and over priced fruit at their best

Maybe I felt okay splurging £2 on those Holiday-themed fruit (although I did skip the berries in the heart shaped plastic container) because I saved £1 on that almond butter?

*half price? So that means those 16 strawberries were originally £4? lawd have mercy.

Then, I set to it!

I should call this blog “Blue Plate Special” because this is seriously the only plate I own!

Yes. There are 9

Look nice, right? Well they didn’t work out quite how I wanted.
I wanted proper pink pancakes, like I saw when I looked up a recipe for these.

I bought a beet at the farmer’s market and  everything. Maybe I boiled it for too long?

I also added too much baking powder. Please pay attention to your baking powder in concern for your poor pancakes. They want to be loved in all of their pillowy, absorbable spendour. Unfortunately, I could not love mine for this reason.

Not very valentine-y of me, now is it? But I will tell you that I ate them anyway. Because I did.

Just covered with copious amounts of yogurt.

I just love looking at them.

*fun fact: the little heart almost fell on the floor as I carried these from the kitchen. The entire tower toppled and cascaded down the side of the plate like pancake dominoes.

Anyhow, here is the recipe I made it with.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up For Being Single Pancakes
Serves one solitary young woman
3 tbsp beet puree (maybe don’t boil your beet for too long and you’ll end up with more redness?)
1/3 cup spelt flour
1/3 cup wheat bran
what was probably too much of both baking powder and baking soda
stevia
finished off a bottle of vanilla (not too much, guys!)
2 tbsp yogurt
3 tbsp water (since I only have goat’s milk and that’d taste not well)
2 egg whites

1. mix dry
2. mix wet
3. mix together
4. marvel at how simple this all is
5. put in pan. cook.
6. eat.  (serve with valentine’s themed things like strawberries and yogurt)

Things to do:

-Make sure you try to dye the white shirt that has stains on it with the beet juice. And watch it turn a really ugly dirty brown. The amount of times you have tried to save that shirt by dying it with vegetables has just gone up by one. The number of times it has worked still remains a solid zero.

 -If you make these pancakes, make sure you do them justice I didn’t show them. By making them tastier.

-Love yourself this week. I spent so much time last week freaking out about papers and not being in love with college (no, we’re not valentines) and since I have this week off, I’m going to treat myself to Whole Foods tomorrow (hello £17 salad bar box!) and take a trip to the V&A.

-Wear an outfit you love. Look at yourself in the mirror (even if you have to climb on your toilet). Tell yourself you’re beautiful. 

You're beautiful

-Make something you love. Eat it. (DONE)

also

no caption needed

White chocolate is totally valentine-themed, right? But the other ingredient isn’t. So that’ll have to wait.

-Stop what you’re doing. Breathe. No matter what you might have about yourself this minute or might in the next minute- you’re totally lovable. I’ve been thinking about this lots lately, and it’s amazing how different we all are. We can’t all get along, or understand each other. We can’t all have what the next person has, or what we desire. But we need to be happy for what we do have and what we know, deep down, is great about us. 

For instance: I’m not great on tests or with analytical papers, but I’m really creative, and when I have the time, I’m going to write a memoir
I’m a deep thinker, and even though I’m sort of a loner and haven’t made many friends (yet!) this year, I’ve done a lot of introspection that has made me much better in mind and body.

Love youself <3

Love, Hannah

ps: Current music, as ever,

Trying New Things

Well, the weather in London has been going up and down like it’s trying to lose a policeman hot on its trail. Sunday was dreadful but it SNOWED properly, which made me run around my flat with a big grin on my face. And stomp out into the street on sunday when it was slushy and all the charm had dissolved into limp, gray sludge that covered all the streets.

My eats from tuesday are always really boring and spastic because I’m usually running around doing who knows what and doing to and from class.

AND because it’s veggie week (my fave!) I’ll share with you some special things to do with fruits and veggies!

I love veggies! Favourites include: Squash, Sweet potatoes, lettuce, carrots, cabbage, brussels sprouts, parsnips….okay I can’t pick. I love them all. Roasted, raw, steamed, you name it, I’ll eat it.But wait until you see what else you can do with them!
But no matter how scattered I get, there is always WIAW. At least the name adds some sort of organisation to the fact that I never actually post what I ate on wednesday or tuesday or even in one day usually.

Let’s begin. I look forward to sundays because I get to go to the market but the farmer’s market is also there. As I’ve mentioned before, there is usually some sort of deal box that I like to get. Usually it’s great, but not this week. 

There were eight apples here- most of which were rotten inside, or at least which had weird dots inside. I was afraid of bugs, so ended up binning most of these, sadly. The avocado and lemons aren’t for eating, but for something I’ll show in a moment.

So I took the good apples and was going to make applesauce out of them but ended up with a mess instead. 

I guess I’d left the stove on. They were CHARRED the next morning. I felt horrible, because my flat mate said the whole corridor had been smoking. WHOOPS.

I love a good bargain, I’m sure you know. There was a coupon for this milk in the Waitrose Weekly so I took them up on it, knowing full well I dislike cows milk. It’s not actually bad though, this milk. And the peanut butter was on reduced, which you can see by the top and it’s state of disrepair. I also have peanut butter that I’ve made- but whatever. You can NEVER have too much nut butter, right? Plus, I’d never tried this kind.

check it!

I had loads of Chestnuts that I finally decided to roast. Now, I may or may not have bought these in December, intending to roast them when I went home for the holidays, but never ended up doing so. Yes, I’m sure you can guess that they were pretty much hard as rocks when I roasted and peeled them. So I decided to soak them.

I had this strange idea that I’d grind them to make a spread.

The spread isn’t featured in this breakfast, but peanut butter was. This was the first time I’ve really SPREAD peanut butter on something before, so I was really proud. Somehow, nut butters are scarier when I actually eat a portion, rather than sticking my fork into the jar and taking microscopic bites. Sounds weird to you, it is weird and something I”m trying to get away from. A serving of fat isn’t going to hurt me, no way!

I love the combo of nut butter + cottage cheese + maca powder + necterine on a wrap.

speaking of fat.

Butter and cinnamon on (admittedly) white toast. It was on reduced. Childhood treat, right there. Where has butter been for the past couple years?!

cinnamon is so photogenic

Our flat had Bollywood night last week. We’d previously had Greek night, so this was the sequal. My flatmate, who is ethnically Pakistani made us all Biryani which I loved- so spicy! I was really nervous about this night because I know that Indian food usually has lots of Fat involved, and I took 2x as long to walk home from work in hopes I’d miss it. Alas, they were still eating when I arrived at the flat. But do you know what? I served myself some rice and Biryani and ate alongside the rest of them. The fat didn’t hurt me. I am not fatter. I felt fine, and had a great time! A couple months ago, or a year ago? No way would this kind of flexibility happened.

Cheers!

Remember the chestnut spread I told you about? SO GOOD.

roast with chestnut butter and dried apples

 Chestnut Spread
2 bags chestnuts, roasted, soaked
pinch stevia
3 tbsp milk of choice
1 tsp cinnamon
BLEND and serve

TRY these!

I recently tried Trychips, which the company sent me to review. All I have to say is, please get these! They sent me three flavours; Aspire (Green Tea), Endeavour (Acai), and Supercharged (Maqui). These are crunchy and full of real fruit flavour- no soggy Special K strawberries here. They were a mixture of all sorts of fruits you’d expect to find dried, and those you’d not think of. I loved the dried bananas dipped in peanut butter and they are puffed dried, not fried like the normal dried banana chips.

Thanks so much Try for letting me Try these (heh). And yes, the multiple packs I was privided with are very nearly gone except for the banana parts, which I’ve saved

We interrupt this message for a bit of SNOW

So much Snow!

I’ve got three awesome recipes to share with you now!  Remember last week when I shared this picture with you? 

Guess who?

Well a couple of you guessed eggs and you’re right. But not to eat! The whites of these eggs went into my pancake monday pancakes, while the yolks went….into my hair!

Cracklecrunch

Attractive, I know. But hear me out. If you’re like me, and your hair gets that limp, straw-like quality in the winter, you’re probably looking for something to do about it. If the chemicals in Herbal Essences aren’t doing it for you, give these next three recipes a try!

Egg Yolk Hair Moisturiser
2 egg yolks (if your hair is especially thick or long, use three)
2 tbsp water
mix with a fork
Massage through wet hair.
Let sit for 30 minutes
Rinse in COLD water- DO NOT rinse in warm water, or you will have scrambled eggs in your hair

Oh hello, Egg head!

So does it work? You bet!! My hair felt so nice!

Later that day….

Fluffy and soft. Like little bunnies.

A couple days later, I tried the same thing with Bananas.

Smoothie? NOPE

Banana Hair Mask
2 small bananas or 1 large banana
1 tbsp oil
1 tbsp water
Massage into hair
Leave 30 minutes
Rinse, Shampoo and Condition as usual. 

How did this work? Well. Except that I had bits of banana ALL through my hair. Bad time to realise that curly hair = not having a brush = not being able to get banana out of your hair. I used a fork. 

 

Pudding?

Next up was Avocado! I absolutely detest avocado. I think it tastes like soap. But for the hair, the beautiful green colour added new life back into my hair!

Avocado Hair Smoothie
1 Avocado, mooshed/blended
that’s it.
Massage into hair. Leave 30 minutes. Rinse throughly. Shampoo and Condition as usual. 

Let me know if you try them!

Love, Hannah