On Failure and Brains

Burns on the finger. no good.

All sorts of misfortunes are happening around these parts! I burnt my finger whilst making that bread the other day.

Fun Fact: All my burns take the same shape because they are the shape of the bars in the oven!

another one bites the dust.

I used to worry about being sad because I had to leave all my dinnerware in London when I flew home. At this point it doesn’t matter because oddly enough, I have broken it all!! This bowl was the last to go. When did I get so clumsy?

well, it was almost successful.

See this bread? Our oven is such a nonworking piece of rubbish that I had to slice the bread and put it on the grill in order for it to cook!

Well, THAT’s an awful picture.

Lucky this chocolate was only £1 because it is probably the worst dark chocolate I’ve ever had! Just doesn’t even melt in your mouth at all. Sainsbury’s £0.35 chocolate tastes 10x better!

ONSLAUGHT

messymessymessy

size reference needed.

sad times friends, sad times.

Basically that progression shows the end of term onslaught of clubbing posters no one bothers to read. As if every single person in our flat needs to read a separate one….

Fail number many = our kitchen and how no one (except me) bothers to clean it. The cleaner and I have a special bond because I feel so bad for him every time he comes in to see it in its naturally messy state. And this picture? That is it when it is CLEAN.

Fail next= protein powder almost win. My flat mate left for the US on monday and left a whole bunch of his things in the kitchen for us to free range on. One of the things he left was a hot kettle, which I helped myself to since we’ve already got two in the kitchen.

The other was this GIANT thing of protein powder (see picture of hand above for size comparison). I was PUMPED to try all the awesome protein powder recipes I’ve been reading about online and pinning, etc. BUT this protein powder had SPLENDA in it? Seriously guys? Who puts nonnutritive sweeteners in something that is supposed to be good for you? I was majorly bummed. There went all my hopes of making protein pancakes and protein bread and protein bars and protein frosting and protein shakes. Sad times.

Fun fact: purple cabbage does turn your fingers purple!

I read an article today about nutritive and nonnutritive sweeteners in hopes of finally coming to an understanding of what the heck sugar and splenda and the like are for. I can’t bring myself to ingest those artificial things, yet find Stevia to be okay. I don’t do granulated sugar much, but fruit sugar is okay. I want to know more about it. I guess I can’t eschew something entirely. No one should, it is unbalanced.

On that note. But not really on that note at all. Today I went to the Wellcome Collection to see the exhibit on Brains with my friend S, who I will be living with next year. It was a really fascenating exhibit with brains of people on display, instruments, casts of brains, blood vessels, spinal chords, medical cool sciency stuff. No pictures allowed though, so I had to do without.

Lunch was delicious curry hummus atop some crispbreads with roasted onions and cinnamon and herbs. I’m a huge fan of this lunch but am now out of the hummus

perfection.

On life: I decided to rescind my application to be unit director at the camp this summer because of the conflict with the two Fulbright essays that would have been due smack dab in the middle of the camp season. It was disappointing, but cliche as it may sound, when one door closes (even if you shut it yourself) another opens. I emailed my brother’s teacher to ask whether there were any opportunities to volunteer or observe in the summer school classroom and she emailed me back saying the school board wondered if I would be a personal literacy tutor to three families who could not afford or could not get to summer school!

I immediately said yes! I’m so excited because I’m really interested in literacy ,especially ways in which different forms/philosophies of education approach reading and learning to read. This will give me an opportunity to work with the school district and see a bit of behind the scenes. I couldn’t be more thrilled.

Moral of the story? Don’t be afraid to ask because you think you will fail. There is no such thing as an outrageous question. Sometimes you can get something you never imagined if you only ask.

Love, Hannah x

Museuming Again

Good Sunny Morning!

I honestly could not think of a title for this post. I have been sitting here for the past five minutes staring off into space, thinking of everything that is too corny or cheesy (why are those both having to do with food?) and altogether confusing.

So there you have it. Something literal. Because yesterday I was museuming again.

My wonderful body woke me up early again so that I could have time to putz around before I left. (<– not really, but I DID have time)
I decided it might be a good idea to make some jam since I had some rather squidgy plums taking up space on my shelf in the fridge.

Looks horrid. Tastes perfect.

I love plums for a few reasons.
1. They seem to always be the cheapest fruit here, so I’ve kind of been buying them exclusively. (and probably will lay off them once I get home for awhile haha)
2. They are the perfect mixture of tart and sweet.

Two minutes zapped in the microwave and BAM –> JAM!

It pairs well with yogurt cheese, and cinnamon on toast.

I love the lighting in this one

Toast in tummy, I set off to the bus stop wearing my vintage dress that I figured might be appropriate for where I was headed: The Imperial War Museum.

I got to the bus stop and, what do you know? There was another woman there wearing a vintage dress! I kind of looked around and made like, ‘no, we are not going to a convention’ and boarded the bus.

Glasses are obviously not in keeping with the theme. But they protect my eyes.

I took the bus through London, south of the River to Elephant and Castle. After winding my way through the meandering tunnels that burrow underneath the traffic circle there, I found myself leaving behind the dangerously complex traffic and walking towards the park in which the museum was located.

Something is missing…the third guy hasn’t got a body!

After walking around a bit and enjoying the sunshine, I found my friend and the two friends he had invited, and we went inside.

CHANGE YOUR LIFE

so many planes!

While my D and his friends perused the hall, I made for the loos (tmi?) since my bus ride had been long!

awkward.

Taking pictures of yourself in the full length mirror is totally okay….right?

oh herro

Obviously. Because I kept doing it.

We made our way upstairs and thank goodness for this sign:

aw darn it!

Because I would have been more than happy to climb all over this old double decker!

WHOA!

Probably wouldn’t be safe….in my opinion, the best museums are the ones you can touch!

D did get a picture of me going into the body of a plane though. Sort of….I’m in motion!

bon voyage!

This one was better.

I’m inside!

After viewing all the tanks and aeroplanes and such, we made our way through the Holocaust Exhibit (I’m a bit of a WWII buff in this category) and down to the general War areas where there was a Trench Experience (which smelled like pee…) and a Blitz Experience (which made me want to build a bomb shelter in my back yard…)

Do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong century? Which century would you choose?

I’m in love with all the wartime propaganda posters- the art really pops! The best ones were those for the victory gardens though!

Obviously.

The messages and graphics are cute and catchy.

humble pie! Save your food!

and as a self identified cheapskate and food saver, I identify with these posters. Maybe I wasborn in the wrong time period….

I totally do this.

There was one, however, that I couldn’t get behind.

I won’t, thank you.

For me, bread is something that has always meant fear. I don’t know what it is, but the staff of life strikes me dumb. I’m slowly working to overcome this, but I simply could not get behind a poster telling me to eat less of it

Potatoes?

jumping Mr. Potato head?

I had a look at this picture after I’d uploaded it and freaked out before I realised that those are D’s fingers, not mine.

family classic.

Do any of you guys know this song? My Dad always sang it when I was a child to encourage good manners.

I even bought three post cards to put on my wall. I forgot to take pictures of them but they say:

-Eat your greens
-YOU deserve victory
-Start Fresh today

All are about victory gardens, except the YOU one, which has Winston Churchill on it.  Fun Fact: Did you know that Winston Churchill and I share the middle name, Spencer?

what a majestic building.

Did you know that (I think) this building has been the Imperial War Museum since 1919?

We had a truly lovely day, and the humidity even stayed away so that I could enjoy a lovely breeze on my walk back to the bus.

I even managed to beat the heat until I got back to my heat box of a room with the window that only opens 2 inches

baked some bread.

I baked some bread in our rubbish oven and had to flip the entire thing over to cook the insides as well because it doesn’t ever cook things all the way through. Gosh what I’d give to be home able to actually cook things. It is a bit gooey in the middle, but it came out alright.

I’m currently sitting in my room listening to Nickel Creek and reading about Nutritive and Non Nutritive Sweeteners. I’m setting off to the Wellcome Collection museum after lunch to look at some brains!

Hope today doesn’t get too hot!

Love, Hannah X

ps: Does anyone want to do a guest post for me while I’m in Morocco from June 7-14? 

Heat Wave

If you know me, you know that I hate hot weather. (Says the girl who is setting off to Morocco in a few weeks and is applying to work in Taiwan)

Yes, it’s true. I’ve said it. I hate summer.

Maybe a bit harsh, and perhaps I don’t hate all of it, but I really do dislike hot weather. Unless I’m swimming in a lake. Then I’m fine.

Just a couple of weeks ago we had this:

sun dappled hammocks

Everything was beautiful and shadows were cast of two friends in a park

see us?

There was even foreboding, ominous sky.

Such contrast of light and dark.

Regents Park gave us sunshine that shone through leafless trees

I love trees.

(HUGE trees?

In break from my poetic banter, I don’t know why that picture is so big. I’m no good with formatting….)

Birds aplenty.

huddles

what beautiful feathered feat

and some springtime babies! This is a blurry picture because I snapped it as the baby duckling was flapping its wings because it was just so darn cute! I hope you can sort of see…

Fly away!

Skies were blue and buildings were tall.

Okay, this one has always been tall.

I love Barbican.

Days were brisk, but perfect for fruit at Borough Market. Yes, I finally got around to taking some pictures!

I love strawberries. But they are one pricy fruit!

and veg, of course.

lovely greens.

and a…thanksgiving spread?

gobble gobble….I would.

But of course, we all know that I go to Borough Market for the samples.

This was mustard. All mustard.

My favourite condiment**? Mustard! They had wasabi and truffle and fig and just so many!!

**savoury. Nut butter is in its own category, obviously.

I’ve heard this is great. Haven’t gotten it yet though.

it was seriously cheeeeeeeesy

They’ve got so many great samples at Borough. Favourites include: Jams, rosemary flavoured olive oil, white balsamic reduction, CHEESE and the most wonderous mushroom pate. Seriously, I don’t know how they do it.

I will be missing the market lifestyle when I’m back in the states. Anyone know cities that have good sample opportunities markets?

Tomorrow I’m off to the Imperial War museum with a friend. I can’t wait!! Hopefully it isn’t quite so hot though, I’m going to ride the bus. No tubing for me in this weather, I’d imagine they are stifling.

Hannah x

When in Doubt, Dance About

fewf! I just spent the last 10 minutes dancing wildly around my room and am now wildly out of breath.

Well Great Hannah, you are now ready for dancing with the stars.

Not by half, but hear me out. When you are stressed, there is nothing like expending super amounts of energy to loud music to help you calm down and centre yourself. Today’s picks were:

Magic Carpet Ride for a nice warm up followed by the all out energy burst of Outkast.

Sure, we all get stressed from time to time and this is one of my favourite ways to cope. Not all my coping skills are and have been healthy, bus this one is one of the best. Others include:

-Knitting
-Meditating
-Drawing
-Blogging
-Singing
-Going for a walk/run
-Journaling
-also: 

Why am I stressed this time? Since the beginning of the year, or really, since second term last year, I’ve been in the process of applying for an ETA (English Teaching Assistantship) Fulbright Felloship.

In all its glory

The Fulbright is a US Government funded felloowship that gives post grads the chance to either teach or do research in another country for a year as emissaries of the US.  I’m applying to Taiwan, the country where my sister and brother were born and where my great grandparents lived and taught English themselves.

Taiwan, Formosa.

Taiwan, in case you’re one of those oddly confused people (which I sincerely hope you are not) is not Thailand. It is also not China. It is its own country off the coast of China.

I am lucky because my college has one of the highest acceptance rates in the country for Fulbright Fellowships. Lucky as I am, however, this also means that the process of applying is very daunting. You must first register your interest, then submit a questionnaire to the FPA (Fulbright Programs Ambassador, DA, as I like to call him). If you are approved to continue, you will be admitted into the program and given a whole new set of links protected by password. You will then register with a 23 page document, which will lead you on to another 23 page document (where I am now) which has two 10 page documents (where I also am) which work within and feed into it.

If this sounds confusing or daunting, just don’t forget that this all comes with mountains of pages to read and strict deadlines to which to adhere. Next up will be drafting and writing two essays and meeting to secure affiliates and cultural enrichment programs. Did I mention I was also applying for a Language Enhancement Grant (LEG HA) to improve my Chinese?

I may or may not look a little like this right now:

fuming.

Literal pressure. Not to mention that I’ve applied for a job as the Unit Director at a summer camp back home. There are two problems with this:

1. The job begins 17 June. I fly home 17 June. They’ve said I could be there in the morning 18 June. Which gives me about 10 hours with my family (minus sleep) before I jet off again for another month.

2. I’ve got to have two Fulbright essay drafts in by 15 July, which is, as luck would have it, smack dab in the middle of the camp season.

So I have no idea whether I’ll take the job or not. Great money, awesome summer outside with kids? Of course. But also time is of the essence here and there is no computer access there.  So either I work myself with nose to the grindstone for the next two weeks before I go to Morocco, or I say, no thanks, to the job.

Why is life so hard?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With that off my chest, we can move along to something a bit more aesthetic.

Unidentified Flying Egg Discs!

Only….I just told you what they were, so no surprises there.

UFEDS!

I probably slathered these with yogurt, cinnamon and nut butter, if I know myself well enough to discern that….

You know what I love about the Holland and Barrett Penny sale?

swirly

Having to buy multi vitamins and realising that sunflower seeds in a 500g bag are only 1p. Winning.

Once more, with feeling

baby, come closerrrrr

You know what’s even better?

roasty toasty

When the fixer people FINALLY come to fix your hob/oven after it has been broken for a week and you can roast your sunflower seeds.

and add melted chocolate to it.

I’m drooling.

Okay, that is seriously enough nut butter pictures.

I’ll disappoint you now and tell you that those have been gone for a week and replaced by plain peanut butter.

Somehow, it just looks better messy.

I told myself that I’d be okay buying the sunflower seeds because they would last me until I went home.
False.

I told myself, ‘Okay, so you’ll probably only need one 200g bag of peanuts to last you until you go home’

False.

Guess I actually eat more nut butters than I thought I did? Good for me, TAKE THAT ED!

We are the best of friends, obviously.

All the smiles.

Bloggers have gotten flack for having posted pictures of themselves with nut butter before, but I’ll just say that nut butter has saved my life and helped my recovery, so I can and will post pictures like this because they DO express the relationship we have. My mom always says, ‘thank god for nut butter!’ and you know, she is right!

What we have is real okay? (in a lighthearted voice, mind you)

Here is a nice ending note, in case you DO believe that posting pictures of oneself with jars of drippy nut fat is not a-okay.

Brixton at dusk.

I’m really glad to have time for blogging. It makes me smile. YOU make me smile.

Hannah x

What I Did Before Wednesday

I wish I could begin this post by telling you that I had slept in again, even that I was upset about sleeping in, or had missed my alarm. But the truth is that I don’t use an alarm, and I woke up wayyyyy before the normal time (read: 3:30 am). One of you has to be in sleep research- what is wrong with me?

I had a snack before bed, I woke at 3:30 hungry, had a snack, fidgeted, did some jumping jacks, read, and went back to bed. Woke up normal time, hungry again! Nutritionists in training, what is the meaning of this? 

On a lighter note, ’bout time I came back to WIAW. I’ve missed it.

You know the drill. Certain things don’t need to be said.

I began my week with a trip to this famed site:

Where are all the people trying to run through it?

I cannot believe I haven’t been yet, but I guess I felt kind of stupid geeking out 5 minutes from my own flat. But as my sister, G, is the fan-est of fans, I simply had to get a shot. I felt totally a-okay about it after some 20-something guy snaped a shot before me. Also note the completely random location of the cart? Given, it IS between platforms 9 and 10, but still, it sits in the middle of a wall….

This morning, after I’d re-gone to sleep after my extreme energy episode, I tubed it to Piccadilly Circus for the opening of the new Whole Foods Market!

Piccadilly circa 7:30am

I was going to walk here from my flat, but I decided against it because I wasn’t sure exactly where this place was, so I didn’t want to get lost while looking for the goodie bags  store.

Quite British indeed.

and I saw it!

AHA- I Spy!

Not like there were big signs or anything.

Since they had said that the first 100 people there would get a goodie bag and I was like, ‘Guys. I’m already there. Seriously.’ I mean, I was pretty close to the front of the queue.

I hid behind a rather swarthy old man….who isn’t in the picture?

True to their word, they broke massive bread-snakes. Okay, they weren’t actually shaped like snakes, but that would have been cool. Although somewhat, un-whole foods like.

It was a massive explosion of bread tearing.

The older man in the gray shirt is the store team leader and he was the most adorable thing ever shouting, ‘I got the biggest piece, hahaha!’

They finally let us in. Shame it was only about 8:30am, because when I saw the spread, I was ready for lunch!

tuck me in.

Stacks of dessert? It was even farther from dessert time.

Towers of sweet biscuits.

The lighting was exceptionally bad, as it tends to be inside. My poor little point and shoot couldn’t handle it. Undeterred, I found the squash but….

Still no Kabocha.

I decided I didn’t need anything, after sampling some natural yogurt and granola with one (!) raspberry on top, a slice of pineapple, a strawberry, a slice of rather pungent cheddar, and a corn chip with what I think might have been mango guac? It had bite!

I walked aimlessly back in the direction of my flat. I stopped into Planet Organic at what I’m convinced was the very moment they opened. Sheepishly, I snagged a sample of an unnamable smoothie from the counter and turned back around to leave before they could tell me it was too early.

There is a park I like to transverse while on this particular route home, and today was no different. Well, it was different in that it was sunny, which prompted me to stop and soak in some rays and read awhile!

amongst the graves. Fitting for what I was reading….

I settled down to finish my book, ‘The Woman in Black’ by Susan Hill, not even thinking about the connection between the story line and my place next to tombs and gravestones.

perched on the hard wooden bench. ouch.

It wasn’t long before a lovely bird came and perched on the rubbish bin behind me, chirping in the sunlight. I reached into my bag and tore off a small bit of the Whole Foods bread they had given me, tossing it to his hungry beak. He came and sat a few times on the bench but would not hop onto my hand as I wished

Robin Red Breast.

After my walk home and read in the park, I was quite hungry, even after all my samples, so I set a big pot of chia oats onto the stove and walked away (Don’t do this at home kids!) to take pictures of my bag’0′swag.

Plus a rose from my admirer.

It was awkward getting that rose home, because the stem was just longer than the depth of the bag, but it was worth it. Have you ever seen such a beauty? The gifter was none other than random Whole Foods lady, unfortunately, not my long sought boyfriend. He’s got some serious shoes to fill though, this rose is the nicest I’ve seen.

Bread, probiotics, more probiotics, juice box, whey veg suppement, chai tea mix, shampoo x2, more shampoo, magnesium spray, salty flavour packs, arnica pouch, bounce bar, clif bar, omegas, coconut oil

I was pretty excited about the coconut oil because I’ve heard SO many bloggers rave about it. I broke it right open and stuck in a finger. Um, heaven?

velvety healthy fats.

I spent the next couple minutes scouring amazon for the cheapest organic coconut oil/butter only to be told by my mother that we had a 4lb bag of organic unsweetened coconut at home. SCORE! Oh to be reunited with my food processor…..

I’m pretty excited about the bars as well. I’ve never tried those bounce balls, but the coconut one was a good choice.

bouncing with energy

Also, I’m pretty sure clif bars in the US are larger than the one that I was given. Or perhaps they’ve made them smaller since I’ve been away?

As soon as I broke out of my coconut induced stupor, I remembered that I had oats on the stove (no, they didn’t burn, thanks) so I went to deposit them into their waiting jar which was not, as it might seem, tahini. It was banana-sunflower seed butter (banana+sunflower seed butter, whizzed up)

with a plum on top!

Chia seeds and OIAJ may seem like old hat in the blog world, but I’m still a fan of both.

But the best part to me will always be the crispy bits at the bottom of the pot.

perfection.

I mixed in some maca, cinnamon, and yogurt and ate these first. MMMM good.

I think it was eros who made my day so fully of love.

love at Piccadilly

Hannah Xx

Mellow Mondays

Monday.

Why does everyone hate it so? I’ve never felt that drag of a feeling everyone describes as, ‘the mondays,’ but I can feel a bit of a general drag today.

Because my exams are now over, as of friday (yay!), I’m left with basically two free weeks until I’ve got Field Day

Music all day!

on 2nd June and then a couple more days until I go to Morocco!

Fez

Rabat

So until June, I’m completely unoccupied.

Being a person given to Anxiety, I’ve made myself a giant list of things to do if I feel lonely, anxious or bored. One of those was to go to the Wellcome Collection today, after I returned my books to the library. But apparently someone is testing me, because nothing on my list if open on mondays!

Resigned to sit on my bed all day (kidding) I’ve been cleaning out and organising my internet bookmarks. Seriously? Do I really need five links to the same cauliflower pizza crust? Why on earth do I have that article from 5 years ago in my bookmarks folder named, ‘awesome youtube,’ and what on earth does the folder ‘banana’ contain (hint: it isn’t banana recipes).

I’ll share with you some of the fun links I found though, because it is as much fun for me to rediscover them as it was to find them the first time.

1. 43 Things - This website lets you set goals, see others who have the same goals as you, and cheer and be cheered. You can check off when you’ve accomplished something and write a little blurb about it.

2. Wedding Gawker- I’m assuming you’ve all seen Food Gawker (another favourite of mine) but if you haven’t found yourself its Wedding component, set aside some hours. For a girl who hasn’t even ever dated someone, I love to dream on this site.

3. Regretsy- You guys know Etsy, right? Well this site is like etsy, but the products have gone a bit….off. Where else can you find cinnabon earrings, foaming cake batter body wash, and top 5 bag overalls.

4. Sporcle- Sporcle gives you timed quizzes based on a given topic of your choice. My first year room mate was constantly on this site, and I’ve since developed a similar fondness, although cannot say to have spent nearly as much time quizzing as she had The quizzes are actually good for learning as well, such as countries in Africa or name the presidents.

5. The Oatmeal- I surprise myself sometimes with what I find and enjoy online. I wouldn’t peg myself as a webcomic reader, but this blog has some really hilarious things such as the one I’ve linked to where the author describes just what we mean when we say, ‘literally’ It’ll make you think thrice before you say it again, or at least laugh as you use it incorrectly!

So besides refinding joy in the internets, what have I been doing with myself? My friend S and I went to see Foster the People a couple weekends ago. It was a pretty good show- they even played the same song twice (we had a talk about whether this was by accident or not)

Bad lighting good friends.

I would have to say though, that my favourite part was the lighting. It was so dark and we were way up in the balcony (which is what you get with £15 tickets) but we could hear (everything but each other) and see the light show.

Brixton.

Brixton is lovely at dusk.

There was one point when bubbles came down from the ceiling, but we couldn’t get under them because we were on the balcony.

balloons or bubbles?

I’ve done the dark room-wet bubble/foam thing, if you remember, and it wasn’t fun.

**** Me, It’s Easter foam cannons were SUCH a night ruiner.

Beams of light

My friend D and I have walked around London some, Borough Market (DELICIOUS MUSHROOM PATE!) and Tate Modern (strange). We came across this and he had to take a picture with his fancy film camera in B&W.

I’ve always wanted one of these pictures.

Obviously, I wasn’t paying attention.

D and I also found an interesting nonconformist colouring book at a local bookshop. I will be getting this for my kids.

anti tradition

D got one of those super fancy swirly coffee drinks.

AND I got to see the barista do it!

I’ve been to Borough Market many times, and yet I never feel quite right about taking pictures while I’m there. I might go again later this week and see whether I can overcome this because if you want to see food beautifully presented, Borough is your place! So I took an awkwardly close picture of myself instead on my walk home?

All awkwardly photoshopped so that you can NOT see all my pores.

Oh, and those are ear phones, not supersonic bionic silver ears or giant earrings. And you thought I was starting a new trend.

I promise that once I get home and have access to some assemblance of schedule and more picture taking, I won’t do mostly photo/mind dump posts. I realise they can be difficult to follow.

But while we are on the topic of being random, I’ve got these ‘table talk’ cards from home that somehow made their way into my suitcase (I blame…..Mom encouraging me to be social?) The first question on it is, ‘If you could get a VIP pass into any special event, what would you attend? What would be the best way to celebrate it?’ My answer? Well, 3rd June is the Jubilee here, and I would love VIP tickets to get to spend the day with the Queen and get to know her and have fun together. I’d celebrate by eating eaton mess with her in a beautiful garden somewhere.

I’m off to work on my Fulbright and listen to Queen

Love, Hannah x

Pink Fruit and Carbs

Yeah, that’s right. That’s what this post is about. Things I’ve been making out of whatever is in my fridge.

Doesn’t really include much green…but we’ll manage. I obviously need to go to the shops

As usual, I shall provide current favourite song-age for your listening pleasure:

So I made my friend D, previously mentioned in my last post, some courgette/zucchini bread. But it was too big for the pan, so I baked some in a mug and kept it.

Mug Bread. Doesn't get much better, folks.

It didn’t come out half bad.

I got my wrap on with a whole grain wrap, egg whites, a two plums, some yogurt cheese, and some chocolate peanut butter. YUM. If you’ve never had sweet eggs, I’m telling you guys, you’ve just got to do it.

All wrapped up. Only it was too big....:)

Strawberries taste really nice sprinkled with coconut flour. I’d gotten these strawberries because I just really fancied them.

Check it out!

I still love puffed wheat. I can’t wait to get back to other sugarless cereals in the states. But these are good for now. Plus two plums and some peanut flour and maca and coconut flour and soy milk = yum. Did you know if you put coconut flour into soy milk or whatever it becomes really thick? Can’t wait to try this with overnight oats.

Bowl of goodness.

Also, I’d completely forgotten about microwave cakes! I randomly thought of it one day in a pinch, and was so glad I had remembered!

Doesn't it look kind of fancy?

Would you believe that a couple months ago, if you asked me whether I liked tahini I’d have told you “ew, no way it’s too bitter!” Well something within me changed while we were camping/hitchhiking this fall and I love it now! I just can’t get enough!

You bet I finished that jar off in two weeks!

Tahini and oats is a combo made in heaven, I’d say. Never going back again.

I tried to make some almond and cashew butter, but I burned the nuts (it made me so upset!) and they wouldn’t bind no matter how much oil I added. So I gave up and made cupcakes with them.

Chocolate almond butter cupcakes with cashew chocolate frosting?

Whenever I eat oats in a jar, there is always too much oats for the jar. So I end up with this:

which I mix with whatever I want--> lately it has been maca and coconut flour.

Tell me I’m not the only one who loves the crispy bits of oats at the bottom of the pot?

Once I discovered microcakes again, I couldn’t stop.

aren't microcakes cute?

and sometimes I need to get my egg on.

omelettes with two plums, peanut flour, coconut flour, peanut flour sauce, and maca.

I loved this. So delicious. Again with the crispy bits.

I’m  weird, so kill me.

This has been the most random camera dumping post. As I get back into the swing, I swear I’ll be more interesting.

On a happy note: My friends and I went clubbing.

Love my friends!

Then they sprayed foam in big cannons….

Completely soaked....

Oh sorry….did I say I’d leave you on a happy note?

I want this.

Love, Hannah

Today I’m the Comeback Kid

Hi, remember me?

I told you I was taking a break and a break I took. During my break I found some time to grow as a person a bit more. Living off of the internet is something to be taken into consideration. This is not to say that I intended to completely forsake this blog, because obviously I haven’t done, but rather that human contact made me feel more alive than I have in years. Therefore, I wasn’t needing to distract myself from my woes of displaced anxiety with the internet. I should be blogging because I want to share myself, not to cover up anxiety.

Oh, and for those of you who know Sleigh Bells- title inspired by this song, which is a current favourite on my “This is my Energy Face” playlist for days when I feel sleepy

So since it’s been awhile, I shall give you a bit of a recap of what’s been going on. Honestly, there hasn’t been much happening here in London other than I’ve made a friend group (YAY) and have been hanging out with them. I”m on my spring holidays/revision time now, so that’s happening. I spent today taking notes for a paper on disability theory/gender theory. Woohoo.

SOAS had Holi, which was really cool looking. I’d planned on participating and had even scrounged up an old white shirt I wasn’t too fond of, but as I got there and realised that I had no friend to throw dye at/have them throw at me, I decided to just watch.

Colour my world.

I was feeling super lonely and anxious on saturday, but luckily my friend D invited me to go to the Victoria and Albert Museum with he and his parents, who are visiting for the week. If you’ve never been there, go! It’s simply fab and D and I are already planning to go back.

D and his mother looking at the golden Silk Spider robe!

I wanted this mug: Every meal should be a Love Feast shouldn’t it?

Love Feast? Is that related to Lady Gaga's lovegame?

We found an owl that you could touch.

Owl always love you

So touch it I did.

Oh, I just wanna take him home.

I have no idea why this picture is so big. I’ll fix it later.

Continuing on, if I haven’t scared you off with enormous photographs….

Don't tell me you don't impersonate statues too...

I was falling.

D’s parents took us out to dinner as well! They said some Japanese place so I thought it would be a chain. I looked up what I could eat and felt pretty good about it.

Turns out it wasn’t that place and I totally did NOT freak out!! I’m really proud of myself, because the meal was wonderful. D and his parents are great conversationalists and we tried not to be distracted by the ridiculous Niki Manaj marathon that was playing on the all-too-large flatscreen behind out table

D got some sort of stir fry thing that came with Kimchi, which he gave to me because it was too spicy.

and lettuce!

I got some sort of fancy salad that came with japanese dressing, tofu, carrots, fried shallots (yum!), seaweed (yummier!), sweetcorn (ew), bell pepper, and tofu miso soup on the side. I also ordered two pickles, one was a radish one (pink) and the other was a cucumber one? (green). I loved the radish one but the cucumber one had a strange texture.

YUM.

Why is that so big? WHAT is going on?

My favourite part of the meal was the fact that we got to use chopsticks! D’s mom got a really nice soup with some noodles in it, which she let me try. And his Dad let me try his Sake, which was like really alcoholic warm wine. Alright.

I felt as happy as I loook!

I sprinkled some spicy something that was on the table all over my meal, which gave it a nice bite, since I love spicy food.

The tofu was the most silken tofu I’ve ever had and I had quite the time picking it up with the chopsticks. The carrots were quite the character as well, because they just stuck up like a big bramble bush on top of the salad and I had a bit of difficulty picking them up without everything going flying! I would have easily added more seaweed though. There is something about seaweed that I just really like. Please tell me I’m not the only one?

We chatted.

We cleaned our plates…erm….bowls…

Except sweetcorn. I hate sweetcorn.

All in all, a great, great time. and I totally like Japanese food, which I’ve never had.

Looking forward to being back! I’ve got a review coming for a new product for my ipod, as well as some good foodie things and philosophising.

Love, Hannah

Just a Little Misunderstood

Although no one likes to admit it, when they need to know something, where do they head?

Wikipedia, of course.

Yes, even educated individuals. It doesn’t get any easier than Wiki’s easy breakdowns by topic, year, or whatever other organisational method they’ve got going on.

My friends, I am a private liberal arts college student, and I use Wikipedia.

But the other day,  I found through stumbleupon, an article about misheard lyrics. Most were pretty stupid, but some were funny.

**side note: if you haven’t checked stumbleupon out, do it not. At the risk of it eating up all your time. But in all seriousness, it’s worth it because you find things you might never have stumbled upon before; hence the name.

There are so many songs that you hear and automatically repeat, without thinking about the lyrics. And when you DO think about the lyrics, you don’t really know what they’re saying, so you go on saying them anyway.

Or there was that time in elementary school when you thought the words in “Truly, Madly, Deeply” were “Until this guy falls down on me” instead of “Until the sky falls down on me” and sung it everywhere, acting it out.  Or how about OMC’s “How Bizarre” sung “hell bizarre” with a giggle because you were 8 and saying “h-e-double toothpicks?

It just got me thinking about representation and being misunderstood. How can we ever posses enough knowledge about each other to truly understand an action, decision, or motive?

I struggle with how people perceive me. And how I think they will. For example, I’m not a big drinker. My flat mates, notwithstanding the fact that they are 3 years my junior, are big drinkers. Nightly, I’d say. And I want them to want to be with me, but I don’t want to feel like I have to drink in order for them to desire my company.

So do I go with them anyway when they ask? (Which they’ve all but stopped doing), Or should I ask them if I can join? (this feels rude). Most of all, it pains me how much it matters to me that they include me. Sure, I could go find other friends, but isn’t it a shame to live in a flat of people who all go out without you? I’ve got this paradox of living with people whose interests don’t line up with mine.

SO WHY on earth do I feel inadequate? Why should I feel any less because I don’t like to drink and they do? Sometimes I catch myself thinking, well they’re having more fun. Um, no, Hannah. You’re the person who enjoys sitting in a park with a book, or curling up in bed with a book, or a quiet chat in a cafe. You are not keen on getting massively drunk, one night stands, and loud crowded rooms. And you’re not missing much. This might be what they’re into, but you don’t need to measure yourself by their yardstick.

and it’s their problem if they are thinking less of me because I am not conforming to what they are used to. Wouldn’t you know it, each time I’ve declined an offer and stayed in, I woke up the next morning feeling well rested and thankful that I listened to my heart.

This is all part of “finding my tribe” as my mother puts it. I am in the process of finding those people who truly value who I am, even if they are different. It’s a long process, but by golly, don’t ever make yourself be with people who make you feel unworthy or less than.

~~~~~~~

It’s viel viel sunny today!!

HOW CUTE ARE YOU

I kind of want a fox.

and may I share with you a trick I just learned? Don’t pay attention to the fact that I haven’t even got a toaster here or back in the States. Also don’t pretend you haven’t wondered how to make grilled cheese without waiting ages in a frying pan.

oh....wow....this just changed my life.

I love the way chia oats look.

chiah man!

Sweet Hummus. Made it again. Yes. BITE.

I’ve got to make more chestnut spread. In the meantime, I just finished some sweet hummus I’d made. I forget what was in, but it was nice. On wholemeal bread, topped with maca. mmmmm.

ready for my close up. Give me a little cinnamon blush.

I love spreads.

White Chocolate Coconut Peanut Butter

This stuff is good man.

spoon.

There is no need for a recipe. If you have peanut butter/peanuts + white chocolate + coconut (or a white chocolate coconut bar, like I did) you can make this too.

and you’ll be oh so glad you did.

I went to Nando’s recently. If you’ve never been there, there are condiments galore!! I usually get them all on a plate like this. See how excited I am?

OH WOW SAUCES

Other than this. Usual room cleaning. Or scrapbooking.

All the recycling!

I also ran into this article on stumbleupon about How to Rationalise your Pinterest. I’m not addicted yet, but thought it was funny. If you need help with this, this article will make you laugh.

I’m going to see Noises Off! tonight. I played Belinda in high school, and I’ve always wanted to see it done up by someone else. I’m so excited!!

Love, Hannah

ps; I had the BEST pancakes this morning. Stay tuned.

flapjacks

Good Morning!! It’s almost the end of my reading week. Oddly enough, I couldn’t get myself to read for class during the day yesterday but found myself up until half four because I couldn’t stop? Things you get up to, nights….

Let’s take a peak into my life and how I photo-document it awkwardly. Only, the only thing is I don’t usually do that. But for some reason, I decided to and now you’re privy to all my outrageous faces. Also, it is reading week and I’ve got nothing better to do.

On last I woke up and thought I’d make some flapjacks. (Read: my flat mates begged me to make flapjacks and gave me all their pocket change in the form of 1 and 2p coins)

“I think I’ll make some flapjacks! (you see them?)

So I whipped some up. (after going to the store and finding a proper recipe)

look nice but....

Yes, I made them and I tried to get them out of the pan….and I felt like this

"um....I almost got blisters!"

When the recipe called for butter, I don’t think they accounted for the entire stick you’d probably need to keep the darn thing from sticking to the pan.

Sticky little devils

You’d never know.

But get them out I did. They were demolished within two days.

Just thank the UK.

Traditional Flapjacks (and chocolate version)

Adapted from About British Food

• 4 ½ oz/ 6 tbsp Golden Syrup or corn syrup (golden syrup I found at the shops but I think it has to be something a bit sticker than honey)
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 sticks/200g unsalted butter
• 12 oz/330g porridge oats

Preheat the oven to 350°F/180°C/Gas 4 (thank goodness the website told me this; the ovens here and I….well…)

• Butter a 9″x 13″/23cm x 33cm Swiss roll tin and line the base with baking parchment.(they mean butter it- these puppies are sticky!)
• Place the syrup and butter into a large saucepan and heat gently until the butter has melted into the syrup and stir well. Make sure you don’t skimp on the golden syrup. It’s a devil to get out of the jar, but it is the key for holding your ‘jacks together.
• Put the oats into the pot, add a pinch of salt then pour over the butter and syrup mixture and stir to coat the oats.
• Pour the mixture into the prepared tin and spread evenly to fill the tin making sure the surface is even.
• Bake in the preheated oven for 25 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from the oven while the flapjack is still slightly soft, they will harden once cool. (key!)
• Place the tin on a wire cooling rack and cut the flapjack into squares and leave in the tin until completely cold.

Doubled for chocolate version, which included 1/2 a chocolate bar, melted and stirred in.

Like I said. Well received.

~~~~~

Today I walked to Regent’s park to take more surveys for £10. Gotta get your money where you can, eh? I stopped at Regent’s park for a bit and read my book as well, which was wonderful.

Only, it’s warm out?

This survey involved choosing a chocolate and eating it and then answering some questions about your consumption experience. I’ve done one like this before, but I am always keen for an exposure experience. Eating a decadent chocolate is good for me to do once in awhile and to prove that I can identify which chocolate I want, eat it, and savour it- Not take a nibble and save the rest for later, as I would usually do.
I chose the “Framboisine” which was

“Dark chocolate with dark chocolate ganache sprinkled with raspberries bits”

Perfectly dark with hints of fruity raspberry. Just what I wanted. They asked in the survey if I felt guilt or remorse or anxiety or whatever. I felt none of those things. Ed was just quiet as I closed my eyes and took delicious bites of this chocolate, letting it melt on my tongue and sent it’s chocolaty wonder miracles to my brain.
and no. I didn’t gain 5 lbs instantly. and I’m not going to be heavier tomorrow.

Since I’ve been learning to treat myself and listen to my body, I felt good having that chocolate. I’m learning to eat when I’m hungry, and stop when I’m full.
That last thing is something I have trouble with. It’s not a binge, because I carefully plan and portion what I eat AND because I still undereat. It’s a paradox because it shouldn’t be a problem to stuff yourself full of lettuce, but my friends, it can be done. Regardless of what I’m eating, I should be able to let it lie and come back later, or to just stop alltogether. I think it has something to do with

But if I’m full before I’ve finished what is on my plate, I continue until I feel a bit too full. What am I afraid of- waste? In treatment, we were forced to lick our plates with a penalty for anything that remained unfinished. So I feel guilty for not finishing things or for “wasting” food. Again, this has never been like I couldn’t finish a loaf of bread or a giant pan of brownies or something (because I don’t do that), but rather like a bowl of oats, or a kabocha squash.
Although this was years ago, it is subconsciously engrained in my psyche that I must finish everything.

As a recovering Anorexic, it’s difficult to strike a balance. I’m really working on this, as I piece my recovery together. Part of intuitive eating is allowing yourself to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. Does anyone have any tips for this? 

~~~~

On another note, I’ve got things in my fridge I need to do things with. And my friend has commissioned me to make him a Zucchini bread with cream cheese icing.  AND the weekend holds the farmer’s market and perhaps marketing with my flat mate!! Oh the joys. I should consider making it a practise to write down my joys and gratitudes daily, so I can be reminded that although I sometimes feel overwhelmed, there is so much that is going well for me, and it’s getting better all the time.

Cue the song:

I shall leave you with another feel good song. Otis reminds us all to relax and waste some time. Your soul and your mind will thank you.

Love, Hannah