Where are you now?

So I’ve been just completely not here. Funny, I seem to do this sort of post every time I drop out for a couple of days and come back with a slew of photos and such.

But here I am nevertheless.

I’ve had the thought of doing posts based on song titles when my itunes is put on random. This came up:

The entire song isn’t about being absent from the blog world, but the title seemed fitting.

“Where are you now?
I’m trying to get by with never knowing at all
What is the chance of finding you out there?
Or do I have to wait forever?”

Basically about where the heck is the person to love me?? Sometimes how I feel, so perhaps it is appropriate.

I’ve been distracted lately, you see. I’m trying to finish all my papers before I go home for Christmas because I just don’t want to have to create academic thoughts on something that seems less important than savouring the holidays with my family. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably plow through philosophy books while I’m home, but I’m not about to write essays on Gandhi or Daoism while I’m there.

I’ve also been distracted by music. Like, one of those nights when you try to listen to your entire music library on all of the music platforms you’re a member of nights? Yeah. Then you try to channel your emotions through the music and blast it full volume and lay on your back and sing and sing or whip around your room feeling everything just pouring out each of your limbs and reverberating through the stillness that surrounds your thrashing body. I’m not angry, I’m just FEELING.
Feeling amazed at recovery
Feeling strange feelings for a guy I probably shouldn’t like, which, after 6 years of an Eating Disorder and 3 at a Women’s College,  is mighty foreign
Feeling excited to go home
Feeling like writing papers just isn’t a flow for my soul
Feeling like I just want to live life

So yeah. Music has been my best friend lately.
That and Microsoft word count. Or my enemy. Take your pick.

When all else fails, have some fiber:

More zucchini bread with the remainder of some yogurt.

or become obsessed with a new food:

Chestnutssssssssssssssssssss

But, as always, I love you all.

 

Feelings coming out my ears

Cheers and back soon,  Hannah

ps: I’m off to Harrod’s today with a friend (FRIEND!) which is going to be fun, I knew I just had to get over there before the holidays were over. Nothing like a little cheer