Category Archives: challenge

The itch, its resolution, and other things.

“I’m about to pass out from a double dose of Benedryl. You see, I’m allergic to something. It’s either food or something in my room. I don’t know which would be worse; something I have to give up, or not being able to get rid of whatever it is in my room that’s causing me to want to scratch my skin off.”

This was a week ago. I suppose Mom was right when she  told me to stop using that face wash I was using. And to stop being the lady who eats cat food by washing my clothes in it to save money (topic for another post) Point it, I threw it away, finally, and changed to a nice face wash from Lush, Angels on Bare Skin. My skin feels so nice now, and I am not itchy everywhere. Lush is great, I swear, I want to eat everything when I go in there.
Welcome to camera dump and thought dump. Except some thing I’ll only mention because I want to devote entire posts to them. Like a certain dream I had about grades and how it might have come true. Oh, and how I freaked out when it did. Which might explain my absence from the blogging world lately. I really had to centre myself and stop using the computer too much. It was eating away at my brain and taking a toll on both my work ethic and my concentration limit.
Exhibit A: What happens when you put bars in the bottom of a duffel bag and check it.

still tasted NICE.

NuGo bars were kind enough to send me some bars to review and BOY if you can ever get your hands on these, do!

**My opinions and reviews are completely my own and are in no way influenced by offers or solicitations from companies or outside parties.

They sent me the vanilla yogurt, chocolate chocolate chip, dark chocolate trail mix, and chocolate pretzel with sea salt. Here’s my low down:

Vanilla Yogurt: This one was good, if a bit dry. It was a hit with me because I usually choose vanilla over chocolate. It had a nice crisp texture that was light but still contained 11g of protein. This one is part of the NuGo family range, and I can see it being a success with adults and kids alike. Other flavours here include: Chocolate, Coffee, Orange Smoothie, PB Chocolate, and Chocolate Banana. 8/10 

See inside?

Chocolate Chocolate Chip: I liked the thick texture to this one. It had a thick coating and chocolaty crisps inside, which made for a more hearty bar than the vanilla. I was also really glad that it wasn’t too sweet, as some bars tend to be. The coating was real dark chocolate, so I was especially keen on that. Many chocolate coatings just don’t taste like the real thing, but this didn’t disappoint. Gotta love the 10g protein as well. 8/10

Chocolate Pretzel: This one mentioned that is contains sea salt on the package. Being that one of my favourite chocolate bars contains sea salt, I was super excited for this. One of my favourite things about pretzels is the little bits of salt, and when you dip them in nut butter or chocolate nut butter, such a combo! I wasn’t let down. In the same “Dark Chocolate” range as the Chocolate Chocolate Chip bar, this bar contained little bits of sea salt in each bite! I’m not sure if it had pretzel pieces in, but the crisps did taste a bit like pretzel. 8/10

Oh yes.

Lastly, the Dark Chocolate Trail Mix: This might have been my least favourite of all the bars, but I can’t pin down why. I still liked it, it just wasn’t BAM. This bar is Gluten free, which is great if that’s your issue and still tasty if it’s not. It was a nice change that the bar contained cranberries instead of raisins, because I usually find raisins too sweet. I also liked the little slices and bits of almonds throughout, which complemented both the chocolate and the cranberries well. It was like a decadent trail mix with chocolate chips in! 7/10-

Thanks so much NuGo for providing me with this opportunity to try a sampling of your bars- I shall certainly be looking out for them in the future because they’re quite good. There is a Carrot Cake one from the Gluten Free line I’m keen on trying! 


so white.

One time I went to the farmers market and got all this for £1.

What’s that ugly one, you ask? Celeriac!

It's like an ugly wrinkly baby, or a mandrake!

Unfortunately, he went off before I could eat him :( But the cauliflower were nice.

Quite a bit.

I got all this too. Gotta love £1 almost-off boxes.

Musing: I’m cheap. You know it. I do my laundry in my sink.

And then I make faces in my mirror.

Question: Where do you go if you’re not posh enough to go to fancy clubs in SoKen(South Kensington) and Chelsea?


Yup. It happened.

My Try chips are gone :(  I would seriously market these. They’re GOOD.

finished and diminished.

I love London.


This is the view from where I work:

London Eye, Bridges, Stand, St. Pauls, etc

My amazing camera skills will wow you.

also seen from my work

I went to see Cirque Du Soliel and wasn’t supposed to take this picture.

that's all you get, unfortunately

Oh, and it’s Royal Albert Hall. Nice place, that.

there I be.

Even though it’s winter here in London, there are still flowers. (Psst; someone should tell London that flowers aren’t supposed to grow in February)

but they're still nice to look at

Upcoming: Valentines Day Breakfast, Fear of Spending Money, Wanderings, What I get up to, Feeling like a failure,
If you’re keen on reading what I get up to in London- check out my travel blog!
Love, Hannah


Well, recentering is still in progress.

I’ve been home for a bit more than a week now and I’ve been having such a nice time, with one minor episode of horrible body image. Does my body change in one day? I don’t think so. Having family over for Christmas was stressful, I think. I also feel better about my body when I eat well? Go figure.

I came home to many packages!

wonder of wonders!

Best Christmas present? I think so. (note: it is only the ones on top, haha)

yum in my tum

I was reunited with tuna fish sandwiches. New love? Tuna+parsley. If you haven’t had parsley in a tuna fish sandwich, do it!


Reunited with wheat puffs and almond milk. What’s lacking? All my nice bowls. They’re packed somewhere in my room I think.

In prep for our neighborhood’s cookie exchange, R (my German friend staying here for a bit), my mother and I went to The Fresh Market for a bit of a shop!

Something's missing....

But they had no Kabocha. Good thing I’d gotten one the previous day. We made a stop at Hannaford on the way home from the airport since the plane food was bad. Needed a snack.

eggsis my precious?

Eggs in a bag?

Then we set off baking. We made….


I broke out the double hummus action.

curry spice hummus and ginger sweet hummus

We made a croquembouche. Has anyone ever made one? It means “crunch in the mouth” but ours wasn’t so crunchy. I read later that you’re supposed to make a paper cone and pour the sugar cement/glaze over it to make the tower, but we hand made it. Probably would have made them more crunchy that way.

So many puffs!

But I think it came out alright. Everyone raved about it.

tower of cream puffs

The table looked like this. Gosh, lighting is so bad at night!

the spread

Made some scruffins- finally!

scruf scruf

The cookie exchange went so well that I completely couldn’t be bothered to take pictures.

Christmas was spent with the fam (more on that later) and then Boxing Day we had my Dad’s side of the family over for a bit of a dessert thing. R and I baked all weekend.

We made….

R baking!


Fruit pizza?

plated and ready to rock.


recipes to come!

I’ll post recipes for all these soon. These were Cinnamon Stars- they’re gluten free as well, for my Aunt who was recently diagnosed.

Blackie and Whitie

We made a Black Forest Cake and an Eggnog cheesecake.

The Gluten Free Table

The spread take second Christmas party.

Taking pride.

I made a Gingersnap Dip


Not many people ate it though. I was sad, but Mom said that my relatives probably just didn’t have sophisticated tastes. They lean more towards chips and dip or cheese and crackers. I suppose that could be true.

Black Forest

This came out really well. My favourite part was definitely whipping the cream (and tasting it, of course).


The recipe came from a real German cookbook, which made for quite the cake (with lots of Kirsch) but mine looked nowhere as lovely as the one in the book.

angle shots

Recipes to follow for: Eggnog cheesecake, regular classic cheesecake, Rugalach, Cinnamon Stars, Black Forest Cake, Flourless Chocolate Cake, Gingersnap Dip

Reviews coming as well!! I’ve got some really good stuff to tell you about, such as Newman’s Own Organic’s new cookies and licourice, Ernest Eats bars (so good!), and Perfect Foods Bars. Can’t wait to review them for you all so you can get to know them! yum!

See you soon, if I don’t vanish again.

Love, Hannah



WIAW- Birthday/Thanksgiving/On Holiday Edition

So I’ve been absent lately. Noticeably or not, I haven’t been around.  Not since Thanksgiving have I really been up to blogging. I”m just not feeling college right now, and its kind of getting me down. But it’s probably this time of year. Raise your hand if you’re feeling a bit of a slump. Thought so.

Nothing like What I Ate Wednesday to bring your spirits up though. Jenn’s got something going on, as usual, and as always, I’m keen to join on in.

We begin with a 21st birthday parcel that’s been sitting under my bed for about a week.

Wonder what's inside!

I didn’t have to wonder long. After my flatmate wished me Happy Birthday at 12:01 am, and my parents not 1 minute after, I danced around my room a bit before deciding I’d better go to bed.


I opened it as soon as I got out of the shower. My family is the most amazing thing. My mom got me the cardigan that I have been imagining (that makes me feel like I’m in prep school) and sent me Justin’s Maple Almond Butter, which I’ve never tried. You bet I ripped it right open to try it.

My sister, G (who is ten) sent me a really cute card featuring my favourite animal; owls!

Answer: Happy Birthday to Yoooooo


Little pastas, lentils, spices, curry powder, shepherd's pie seasoning and mushroom bean soup mix!

I think my mom knows I like cooking :)

I've been admiring this spoon at Marshals!! and nommy tuna.

All the tuna I could find here has sunflower seed oil in it- greasy! blech.


I’ve never tried most Larabars, so this is a treat. I’m still banking on the seasonal clif barsthough.

I've been lusting after this too!

She also sent me my bag of peanut flour that I’ve been missing and a pop up turkey centrepiece, in honour of my birthday.

G and E made cookies!

Oatmeal raisin cookies are a staple at our house. By which I mean we make them occasionally. G and E, at ten, are really into cooking right now and they sent me these cookies they made. Let’s back up and I will tell you how I’m afraid of cookies and never eat them myself. I’ll post about that in the future, but mom knew what I’d say!

Only a bit stale....

I still don’t know how I feel about raisins though. They are so dreadfully sweet.

Birthday card from "the Queen" (my flatmte) and another plate card!

This little guy wanted to say hello.

and of course a 21st birthday wouldn’t be quite right without Birthday Pancakes!


Birthday Pancakes for one 21 year old
1/2 cup spelt flour
1/2 cup wheat bran
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 egg white
1/2 cup water
vanilla and sweetener, to taste
load on the sprinkles!

These hit the spot, I tell you.

Don't forget the sprrinkles!

Can we just talk about the deliciousness?

stacked high

and yes, I did run to the shops just to get sprinkles when I realized I didn’t have any. I needed flour that wasn’t white anyhow.

I am so short....

My friends came round and celebrated with me! Note the “Birthday Girl” badge. I was made to wear it out all day :)

Our thanksgiving spread, my plate is closest with the greenary

My other American flat mate wanted to do a “typical” American thanksgiving so, although my family doesn’t do it that way, I let him. This meant *gasp* sweet potato casserole, cornbread, boxed stuffing and all sorts of other things, all of which contained enough butter and sugar to last the rest of my life. I was polite and took some, because that’s what you do. I also made myself a baked pepper and had some lettuce because I felt a lack of veg.

For the weekend, I ventured off to Bath. It’s so beautiful there, and they’ve got a Christmas Market on. The last two times I’ve been have been in summer, so this was different.

overcast street

You can see the cold in the photographs, I think.

I stayed in a little B&B and for breakfast she cooked to order. I ordered grilled tomatoes and mushrooms and had a side of organic yogurt and fruits.

Farmer's Market!

I sampled my way through the entire morning (literally)

It was all I could do not to buy all of these

Do you see all the people around Bath Abbey?

Busy busy busy

I had to be careful what I bought because I only brought one bag!

I was surprised at myself though- I actually bought things! More on this in another post, but I’m petrified of spending money.

I wanted one of those stars

I don’t know if this is usually there. I don’t recall having seen it on previous trips.

I would have looked mad going on alone

I walked around most of the weekend, eating out of the grocery shops because it’s nice and cheap.

Beautiful river

Bath is really quite lovely.

I'd love to live here

I love how the old historic quality of the city has been preserved.

Street signs

and the Royal Crescent, of course.

I love roofs and sky, what can I say?

case in point.



Bath Abbey

I can’t possibly show you all the pictures (although I didn’t take as many as I thought I would) but these are just gems.

And who AM I to think I can leave town without a jar of nut butter?

See? Heavenly emergency PB

I had to rush into Sainsbury’s to replenish my empty stock. Silly me, never again will I leave without the stuff.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and weekend. It’s almost time for me to go home for Christmas (read: 18 days) so I’m quite excited!!
I plan on trying to post more this week on some introspective stuff. Also about the cake I ate out of the blue yesterday when the family I Nanny for gave it to me. No big deal. Hannah:1 Ed:0

Love, Hannah



Get Real: Part Two

Let’s be honest.

This morning I’m really struggling with body image.  Like it does, it came on suddenly and without explanation. One minute you’re fine, “Oh, I love my legs today” and the next, “Gosh. What the heck. You shouldn’t have done X yesterday, now you’re too thick.”

Um ED? Do you mind? I run the show now.

*disclaimer: I’m not a debbie downer, I’m just exploring my feelings and processing. This is real, I’m real, and real people aren’t happy all the time.

It could have been the fact that I decided to wear leggings today.

Maybe I should try this

Reframe: Leggings are fine. They fit you and make you look strong and slim. There shouldn’t be any clothes you feel you can’t wear. Good for you for trying something new.

It could be that my friend is coming to visit this weekend and I’m nervous about having to eat in front of her.

I hope she isn't expecting this

Reframe: Okay. I know this one is hard, but you’ve got to think. One weekend won’t blow you up, you don’t have to eat pizza, and you eat anyways, so why would doing it in front of her matter? Breathe.

It could be that I’m trying to get too much done at once. Yes, I’m looking at you papers that are not due until January.

Okay, it's not THIS bad :)

Reframe: You’re extremely proactive, starting your papers months in advance. That way you can have  a relaxing time when you go home for Christmas. Although this week is “reading week” you do not need to finish all your essays now. You still have more than a month before you go home.

So it could be any of these things. Point is, what do you do about it? When you feel like all you want to do is crawl in a hole, or retreat back into behaviors, what do you do? It is made worse by dwelling on it, by realizing that old behaviors just don’t work for you anymore. You need to eat, you like to eat, and it’s when this is paired with bad body image that things get difficult.

Today I’d like to focus on what my body does for me. I read a quote this morning that really resonated with me in relation to this:

“The Greatest danger to our future is apathy” Jane Goodall”

Recovery is a process and a process doesn’t mean a fast track. Some days will be better than others and unfortunately, today is one of those others. It is when we forget what we’re aiming for that we are in danger. The days when I forget to eat enough of whatever, when I forget that I eat for my bones, for future relationships, for my family, for my education. It is when I forget that so much of what makes me unhappy now is caused by this disorder.

This is making me emotional.

When I really stop to think about this and actively push against the apathy, I become powerful and strong against this anorexia. I become the one who is in charge, the one who calls the shots on what I think tastes good and what I wear. The one who decides whether I have one piece of toast or two with yogurt for breakfast. The one who decides to love myself with all my imperfections. And in doing this, allow myself to be loved by others also.

The truth is, this is the hard part. The part where I am not so entrenched in my ED that I don’t care. I do care now. I see where I was, where I am, and where I am going, and I want to get there with all my heart. That’s where it is hard. Holding back would be safe, I’ve been there, done that and I know how and what it brings. But the future is brighter, albeit unknown. It involves friends, delicious food, opportunities, maybe my first boyfriend, who knows. It also involves a strong body that can see me through all of these wonderful things that the future holds.

It’s a lot to struggle with recovery when you’re on the brink. A lot to struggle while your maladaptive perfectionism is telling you to get your essays done months before they’re due, but at the same time, preventing you from productivity because you’re afraid you’ll fail.

Here is what I’m focusing on today, to help me battle this E(vil) D(emon)

1. Thinking about what my body can DO for me. It can walk me around London. I can walk to my job, be there for the two girls I Nanny for and get me back safely. I can meander around the city and see sights. I can run to catch a bus.

2. Thinking about something else. This morning I made peanut butter. Tastes good, good for me, makes me happy. Instant fix. Besides, what is NOT totally distracting about a loud food processor?

3. Thinking about my future and not sinking into apathy. Apathy is the same thing as fear and non-action in this circumstance. If I am afraid to recover or afraid of what it would meant to let go, I fail inherently. I expose myself to the dangers of brittle bones, relationship-less life and lost friendships. The more active I am in my thoughts, the more what I desire becomes a reality.

4. Thinking about these feelings. Where did they come from? What can I do? Ignoring feelings will only push them down and resurface them later. Buddhism speaks to the importance of letting feelings arise, acknowledging them, and letting them pass. I believe this this works, no matter how difficult it may be in the moment.

5. Reaching out. Reach out to those people who care about you. My parents are really great supports for me, as is blogging. I know that so many of you have and are going through what I am and can relate. Knowing you’re not alone is something that is spoken of again and again, but it is true. No shame in asking for help. The only shame is self generated. Change your thoughts.

6. Eating. Oh yes. Eating when you’ve got bad body image is probably the LAST thing you want to do but it can really help. Getting into a bad spiral can only bring you down. Chances are, missing nutrients are causing negative thoughts. Carbs, fats and protein are the ones I always miss, and it is true that I need a balance of those daily in order to feel great.

I hope this helps those of you who are struggling with body image today, recovering from an Eating Disorder or not. Sometimes we just don’t love our bodies. It’s okay. We don’t love the weather every day, but we put on our overcoats and brace the wind. We don’t love homework, but we slog through and get the “A” at the end. Life in general isn’t great all the time. But just living, if you think about it, is the most amazing thing. How complex we are as creatures. How much we matter as whole people. Believe me, your friends aren’t friends with you JUST because of a certain part of your body. That would be bogus. Legs don’t talk! Ideas, thoughts, emotions, those form people. What people DO. This is what makes you a person.

Give it a think. Love your body today. I am.

Love, Hannah

Da Dip: A Complete Soc-cess

and yes, I’m aware I spelled that wrong. You’ll see.

Any of you familliar with this song?

When I dip, you dip, we dip.

Well, I’ve been dipping a whole bunch lately into this fab new hummus I made from chickpea flour!!

dip it up!

My flatmate had a bag of this Chickpea/Besan flour that she wasn’t going to use? 

So naturally I jumped on the opportunity and began researching recipes to make with it. Nothing goes to waste. I came across a recipe for Chickpea Flour Hummus and thought- why not? Hummus is rather pricy at the shops, so if I could make my own, all the better.

Chickpea Flour Hummus

adapted from This recipe

      • 1/2 cup Garbanzo Bean Flour
        1-1/4 cups Water
        1 Garlic cloves, minced (omitted because I didn’t have any)
        2 tbsp nut butter (it called for Tahini but I didn’t have any)
        1 tsp Lemon Juice
        1/2 tsp Cumin or curry powder
        Salt and to taste
Bring the water to boiling on medium heat. Whisk the garbanzo bean flour into the boiling water. Cook 1 minute stirring constantly. Turn heat down to medium low and continue cooking 5 minutes. Let cool.

In the bowl of a food processor, puree the garbanzo mixture, garlic, a bit more water, nut butter, lemon juice until smooth. Then add the spices, salt, pepper.

If mixture is too stiff, add more water to get desired consistency. Spoon and scrape the mixture into a bowl, cover with plastic and let sit for at least one hour at room temperature. Taste to see if more lemon juice, salt or pepper is needed.

Really guys. Go make this. It is super cost effective because you’ll only pay for the huge bag of flour and then you can make hummus to your hearts content. Next up, definitely a dessert hummus! Cinnamon? Caramel? Snickerdoodle? Ginger? 

Since I am totally on a chickpea flour kick, I randomly decided to whip up some Socca this morning. Allie had kindly given me the recipe-so simple!- and so I thought I might as well give it a try.

Simple Socca

1/2 cup Chickpea Flour
1/2 cup water
oil for pan if it is not nonstick

chickpea flour

Put chickpea flour in a bowl. I know guys, it’s really hard.


Chickpea Flour, water

Mix with water. Watch out for the clumps!

Into the frying pan

Put mixture into a frying pan. Nonstick works best because then you can just slide it out when it’s done.


Wait around for it to cook. Look with wonder at the Apple Cake you baked yesterday and how it is nearly gone. Good thing it was good (with nut butter)<– that should end every sentence.

Cook it up!

And it cooks up right like that!

ooooh bubbles

You can flip it if you like. You’ll see that it isn’t so photogenic on the other side. But don’t make it feel bad, it’ll still taste just as good.

Much better lighting near the window

Check out this texture

Hole-y moly!

Plate it, please. Show some dignity.

I love my blue plate.

Admire the edge….crisp and fluttery…

wow. just wow.

Then eat your oats in a jar that you’ve been waiting for. Yes, that’s what I actually had for breakfast.

Oats+Cashew Butter = creamy dreamy

But don’t worry. Even though you were a bit premature on the socca making, you can still have it for lunch.

topped with cinnamon, naturally.

It has a bit of a beany taste, so I topped it with cinnamon. It actually improved with age though, and I’ll be trying new flavours to be sure.

serve with toppings.

Holiday Spice Almond butter (shown above, recipe soon) or even the hummus. Chickpea on Chickpea anyone?

Chickpeas. They’re what’s for breakfast/dinner/lunch/snacks/anytime.

Love, Hannah


November Goals (and a review!)

November is the beginning of some things.

-My Life (Birthday on Thanksgiving!)
-The Festive Holiday Season
-True Fall weather into winter
-Snow? -although I hear there was somewhat of a “snowtober” over in the states ;)
-My life as an adult? (I’ll be 21)

Even though I still get dressed up as a hippy and go out on the town!

So here’s to a new month. I’ve seen so many bloggers post about monthly goals and I thought that this month I’d join in the fun.

This november I’d like to work on a couple areas of my life.

-Meditate at least 20 minutes every day-it makes me feel really good and my focus goes up.
-Journal at least 5 minutes every day-I used to be such a big journalizer (read: one journal per week) but when I get super stressed, I can’t even do that!
-Get right to tasks as I think of them/have to do them- putting them off only stresses me out
-Get some sort of exercise each day, yoga, walk, dance, etc
-Make time to read for pleasure- this is my favourite thing to do, and yet I get so stressed that time for it goes out the window.
-volunteer- I need to find opportunities here, because it’s really good for me and makes me feel excellent.
-Get outside at least once a day, if it is difficult to  

Get out and climb a tree!

-Reach out to people- they won’t just knock on  my door
-Make at least 1 plan with someone else per week
-Leave my room
-Smile more and invite people in- I’m beginning to think I give off a “don’t come near me or try to befriend me” vibe?

-Cook/Bake more for myself- not only is it fun, but it nourishes my body
-Work on social eating- this one is super hard, so I’m not expecting perfection
-Balance my macros- Some days I find I get fixated on one type of food, do really great with it, and get less of the others. I need to learn how to make a plate with components from different food groups.
-Just eat regularly. I’ll feel better and think better which brings me to…. 

Wheat Bran Waffles anyone?

Don’t put off school work- it might not be the most interesting thing ever, but you’ve got to do it. Bite the bullet.
-Get work done as soon as possible, so exploring can happen and I can be more social
-Focus on the future and deal with the present- College may be getting old, but it is my ticket to life
-Finish Fulbright registration
-Update CV
-Line up summer internship

I like to write in my books. Actually not.

So you see, I’ve got a lot on my plate. Please help me stay accountable? 

And yes, I mentioned I had a review for you!!
The folks over at Living Tree Community sent me a jar of Raw Almond Butter to try and review for you all!  They also sent me some Pistachio Butter, but I’m allergic to pistachios and was unfortunately not able to test this one out. Let’s just say it LOOKS super good. 

This may or may not already be half gone...

Their website is a maze of interesting, and useful information. Seriously, you could lose yourself in there for awhile, looking at all the great products and reading about their connection to the earth, community and your body. Their certified organic nut butters are manufactured without peanuts, (so you don’t have to worry if you’re allergic) and have a commitment of alive foods and loving relations. I can go for that.

They’ve also got a  section of articles and information on many topics such as Alive Food, Cancer, Healing, Raw Milk, etc.

Living Tree offers so many great products, if I had £100,000 I’d buy it all up and taste them all. A few of my favourites that I’d like to try include: Alive Coconut Butter, Coconut Creme with Chia Seed Oil, Walnut Butter, Cashew Butter, Pecan Butter, Macadamia-Cashew, Brazil Nut, Tahini, Pumpkin Seed Butter, Chia Seed and Sunflower Seed Butter.

Did you catch all that? I’d be broke :)

Yum in a jar

So let’s talk about this nut butter.
It doesn’t have a scent, but the taste is of pure, sweet almonds because that’s all that’s in here!! It’s got to be refrigerated after opening, which is how you know it’s fresh.  I hope you can all see the varying grain sizes in the photo above. It’s amazing how creamy it is and yet you can still tell it is made from raw nuts. No pulverization here.

Forkin' it up

So seriously people. Want some awesome, natural almond butter that tastes just like almonds in butter form? This is your product.

Thanks so much Living Tree for sending this to me. I’ve been trying it on everything!

I opened the jar and it just stuck to the lid and begged to be slathered all over something yummy.

So of course I did.


More on those “chips” tomorrow.

Love, Hannah

Soya Good Halloween

Hello Loves!!

If you’re American, like me, you’re probably thinking about what time of year it is right now.


Even though I’m abroad, I still tried to get into the Halloween mood today. Things don’t really take off in London like they do in the US. Whole Foods has a couple displays and the supermarkets have some halloween themed candy, but other than that, you don’t see houses bedecked in finery like these:

I'm glad that's not real!

Halloween lights!

If you guys know Martha Stewart at all, she gets really into the spirit of things (no pun intended) and decourates for parties which she highlights in her magazine

She's always got the best costumes around!

I can remember Halloween years past. A friend and I always used to dress up by the alphabet each year. We were Aliens, Babies, Cows, Dementors, Elves, Fairies, I think we lost it when we got to G.  Once I was “Little Dead Riding Hood”- ooh I thought myself to clever for coming up with that one.

When my Anorexia hit, Halloween ceased to be a fun activity, and began to be a night of horror and reclusion. I remember the first Halloween, I didn’t go out because a) I was too cold and b) I didn’t want to have any candy. So I can remember standing in my doorway, bundled up, handing candy to trick or treaters as they came by. It wasn’t a week after that that my parents pulled me out of school.

Flash forward and we’re on our way to recovery. A couple Halloweens ahead of that first one, I’m trick or treating with fellow classmates and I’m even allowing myself to eat a fun sized candy bar. My candy still lasted all year. I’d nibble it, never allowing myself to take a full bite of something that “might have too much sugar” or “contains trans fats!” or was “empty calories”

Look at it all!

And now I’m off in a foreign land with no trick or treating to be heard of. I might be too old anyways. But if I’m honest, I’m ready to enjoy the holiday again, even if it is by handing out candy (in costume, of course!) or taking my little sister and brother, G and E around. Heck, I might even indulge in a couple pieces of candy to keep my energy up.

Because I’m learning that there is nothing that I “shouldn’t” or “can’t” have- except for pistachios and hazelnuts, because I’m allergic to those-and that everything in moderation leads to a balanced outlook on food and how it fuels my body. One mini milky way won’t blow me up to a balloon size.

What is your view on Halloween? What is your favourite Halloween candy? If you’ve ever had an ED, how have your perspectives on the holiday changed? Should a holiday be centered so much on just candy?

So what am I to do, stuck in Brit-land, without access to the holiday I’m finally ready to embrace?

A couple weeks ago, Alpro was kind enough to send me some of their products to enjoy and review for you all.

If you know me, you’ll know that I LOVE ALPRO products. Last summer when I was at Oxford, I would buy the pots of plain and eat the entire thing, it was so good and creamy. Although Alpro couldn’t send me refrigerated products, like their soy milk (which I’ve yet to try!) and their delicious yogurt, they were able to send me some of their yummy puddings, as well as a single creamer and a soya custard.

A bit about Alpro and soya: Did you know that:

Several hundreds of varieties of soya plant exist, the most common being the one that provides yellow soya beans, which is the variety that they use in their products.
-These take between 150 and 200 days to develop in hot and humid climates. The plant itself reaches about 80 centimetres in height, growing small white or purple flowers that create pods that yield between 1 and 4 beans.
-These beans are one of the best plant sources of protein and we use the goodness of the whole soya bean to make their products to ensure that all of the nutrients are retained. source

That’s lots of effort that goes into making these products!


-can naturally lower cholesterol (not that I’m worried about this)
– is high in protein (I do look for this!)
-is good for the planet (always a plus!)
-is dairy free (if you’re keen on that)

So what hasn’t this stuff got going for it? I hopped right on the bandwagon.


I haven’t actually tried this yet because our mini fridges-shared among seven people don’t quite fit everything. But when I do, I’ll be sure to share!!

I'm thinking tasty over baked goods?

Same goes for this, but you’ll see I have plans as soon as space frees up in the fridge.

Creamy goodness

These taste like heaven. They’re low fat, and they contain calcium, and they’re not too sweet? A+ Alpro. I dove right into these. I’ve had them as a dipper for squash fries, Kabocha breakfast, steamed carrots, a topper for oats, and just for eating. Yes my friends, these things are good. If you have been searching for a creamy, dreamy dessert that doesn’t taste like they’ve dumped in sugar or artificial sugars, you’ve found your winner.

Which leads me to today’s recipe and wonder creation.

That’s what I’m talkin’ about

I waited to try these last and knew my plan for them. Emma always has pudding oats, and I knew my time had come to try them with caramel soya pudding. I’ve tried with chocolate, which turned out wonderfully, but if you know me, I’m more of a caramel person. mm

Caramel Apple Oats

-Oats, whatever serving you wish to have
-water or (non dairy) milk, if you prefer
– 1 Alpro Caramel Soya pudding
-Fresh stewed apples- I stewed mine on the hob, but you can also use sliced apples or applesauce

-combine and cook as you would regular oats. I topped mine with the apples and stirred the pudding in, but that can be up to you as well.  Oh, and don’t forget the cinnamon!

A sweet treat in honour of the Caramel Apples of the fall season.  

Enjoy, and happy Halloween, if you “celebrate”.

Don’t feel guilty about having a handful of candy corn or enjoying that chocolate bar. No shame, remember that okay? It tastes good, bottom line.

Love, Hannah

When You Don’t Have Kitchen Equipment….

Morning all!

So yesterday I decided to make cupcakes for my flatmates. Sounds great, right?

We don’t have a muffin tin. What to do?


I went on a search but couldn’t find anything. Some little convenience store had a silicone one but it was for mini muffins, not the size I needed to make my Cupcakes from the mix that Greens sent me.

I was so excited for these, because my flatmates receive baked goods quite well, and it’s always nice to whip something up to sit nicely on the table (although they never stay for long)

Greens does some great things with their baking mixes. They have a creative baking line (from whence these cupcakes came), a kids line, and traditional line. They’ve got great seasonal cookies I’d like to make as well as sponge and scones I’d like to try my hand at.

They were kind enough to send me two mixes to try, Strawberry and Lemon, so I baked them both up!

All the Fixings

These were super easy. The information Green’s sent me said they take 12 minutes, and they were right!

All you need

You only need an egg and some butter. This was another experiment for me in baking with the metric system. 75g of butter? How much even is that?

Does that even look like enough?

I wasn’t entirely sure that that much batter would fit in the six cupcake papers that came with the mix. (an added bonus, you don’t have to buy them!)

But I haven’t got a muffin tin?

No muffin tin? that's okay!

I’ll just put them in a baking pan. They stand on their own, right?

Makeshift at its best

But they did, and I was so glad. I mean, they would have been tested, so who was I to worry?


I will spare you the messy details of how I got the frosting on, but lets just say, I’m pretty bad with a pastry bag. You are supposed to snip a hole in the corner of the frosting bag and put the nozzle in, but I just squeezed it all out the top. That was the Strawberry cupcakes, I frosted the Lemon ones by hand.


What you can’t see is the fun part. Remember the filling? That went inside the cupcakes. In the words of D, my flatmate,

“Oh my Hannah these are *bite* so good *bite*- oh wait, oh what? Is there something inside? *bitesmooshintoface* oh wow…nomnomnom”

Or something like that :) He liked them, let’s just say that.

Over all, total success. I even got requests to make more baked goods soon, so I’ll have to start looking around. They want to be surprised :)


Today is a pretty mellow day. Fridays I haven’t got class, but I’ve just been lazing around here this morning.

Just chillin’ with Marilyn;

Hello dahling

What? Your cottage cheese doesn’t have a face?

When in doubt, add nut butter

Of course I do. Always.

Especially when my flatmate has a mini food processor.

Hickory Smoked Mixed Nut Butter

Hope you’re all having a great day. I heard it snowed in the US yesterday? Jealous. All we got was rain. Good old England.

PS: I got a package

What could it be???

What is it? You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

I’m off to have lunch then head off to mixed football then to an orchestra concert at the Barbican this evening.

Love ya!

Also: Is anyone keen on doing a nut butter swap? I have pistachio butter here that I was sent to review, but I’m allergic. Anyone, Anyone?

WIAW-English Countryside Camping Edition

Or “How I made my Debut as a Hobo”

Hello, and welcome to my blog. I like to wrap up my whole bed weekends and moonlight as a hobo.

Not really, I just like to go camping and being abroad, have nothing but my entire duvet to keep me warm.

PAUSE–> it is WIAW. It wasn’t wednesday when I ate this. But in all honesty, when is it ever really wednesday whenever we publish? It isn’t. So Jenn should still get credit for putting this all together and letting us feast our eyes on meals and doings from around the world.

The day began with a hearty breakfast. I decided to try my strawberry Gotein in my oats and use some toppings. Let me just say that it turned out super thick and delicious looking but the protein powder was a bit strong for my taste. I liked the powder in the shake, but perhaps not in oats? I think I’ll stick to pudding for now.

Pink GoTein oats with cinnamon, chocolate, banana chip and coconut toppings.

Try as I might, I’m just a huge fan of plain oats.

So kill me.

Off I went to the steps of SOAS to meet the other hitchers. No one was there.

Dismayed both at the lack of fellow travelers and the fact that I’d schlepped my entire bedding across London in a plastic bad (hence the newly found hobo status), I dragged it all the way home again, pulling off my boots, all 5 of my layers and dropping into bed.

I closed my curtains, put on some classical music on Spotify (if you haven’t discovered this, do, I’ll wait) and attempted a nap.

(did I mention it was all of 1130am?)

Phone goes off. It’s fellow traveler, ringing me to come along when they meet at 1pm. I decide “oh whatever, I’ll just go” and off I set.

This is my reward

Can you see why I’m glad I went?

Something Moor....I'm really good with names ;)

If you look way up, you can see the Flat Moor (I forget the name) where ponies run wild. Romantic much?

Rolling hills- wild pheasants present as well!

Since we arrived in the dark, after hitch hiking (which is fine, so don’t worry- try it, you might be surprised) I didn’t get to see these sites until the morning.

Another tree- with a hiding place!


Are you tired of nature photos yet? Try being there in person. I can’t believe I was only 6 hours (hitched) from London!

Beauty abounds

I had thought I’d have to stay outside and freeze but someone had brought a bell tent!

In case you didn't know. My mom didn't.

We sat around the fire on tires and cooked a veg stew with couscous and lentils. It was really the most deliciously rustic thing. It made me want to sell everything and move to a field, cooking everything over an open fire.

Too bad you just fall in.

Some really cool art was present as well. I only wish we’d made this.

The next morning (this is saturday, if you’re following) consisted of many apples straight from the trees!

Aren't they cute?

And so many apples cut up and pressed into Cider.

Before pressing

During pressing

pressing and juicing

We took a break from pressing to take a walk and go foraging and seek out a Haunted Castle!

Beech Nut

Beech nuts are really good and make a delicious snack.

From far away in the valley

Can you believe we could walk to it? Couldn’t go inside though, since it cost a fiver. (that’s five pounds, for you non british folk)


sky + castle = perfect

Looks peaceful, but apparently they used to hang dead bodies from the towers. Think again.

Honeycomb Ice cream

I tried a bite of my friends honeycomb ice cream. Pretty good indeed. I just loved the bowl. She looked at me funny when I asked to take a picture of it :)

We made dinner…lunch….when we got back. The two kind of morphed into one because it was already 4pm.

over open flame? yum!

This is the only terrible picture I got of our stew making that night.

rest assured, it tasted good

We also roasted chestnuts and sweet potatoes in the fire. Talk about a delicious meal.


I realize this was a picture heavy post, but I just cannot convey to you how relaxing and beautiful it was out there. I didn’t shower for two days, I ate in front of other people, food that I didn’t control made with *gasp* butter, I ate bread and not at certain times, I laughed, snacked, didn’t care what I looked like.

No wonder people say going to the countryside makes everything better.

Love, Hannah


PS Check out my guestpost!!

Living the Busy Life

Wow guys. I’ve been so busy. I’m sure you all can tell I got home from my Hitchhiking holiday in one piece- more on that tomorrow!

I’ve volunteered to take these surveys for London Business School every so often so I find myself in Regents Park many days. It’s lovely there, if you’ve never been. Put it on your list!

What have I been up to? Well an embarassingly long time ago I met Carrie at the Royal Parks Half marathon.

It was busy there!

I walked around and tried to find her, to no success. Finally I found myself a spot next to the start of the race and peeled my eyes looking, thinking it would be just my luck for her to be on the opposite side from where I stood.

See her?

Imagine my surprise when I was shaken from my concentration by “….Hannah?” It was Carrie standing right next to me!

There she is!

I can’t believe she was right there. It was really great to meet up with her, however briefly. We actually ended up meeting up a week later at Whole Foods for a quick shop. What a sweet girl. But our time to talk was limited because off she ran!

These old suckers

I almost got my gait analyzed but the line was too long. These old shoes have been around for a while! I was going to go on a Market crawl but the people who were organizing it didn’t show up.

Oh, Hello London!

I tubed it home.

Check out this escalator

I also mentioned that I went to a Vintage Fair.

Pretty shoddy picture of cupcakes

The lighting was pretty bad, but I tried to take a couple pictures.

It looked like this all around the room

I decided to take the plunge and promise myself that I wouldn’t leave unless I’d purchased something. If you’re new to the blog, I’m petrified to spend money. This is something I plan to post about in the future, because it has a lot to do with my recovery as well as just life in general.

Anyhow, I bought a classic blue wool dress, perfect for whatever I end up doing with my life, as well as London chill. I can’t get a picture with it on, because I haven’t got a mirror and full body self pictures are difficult, but I’ll try to get one without me in it.


I’ve just been exploring, really.

All clean!

Learning how to purify water at the Community Garden.

It's growing!

Wandering around London’s gardens.

A wise sage for me?

Looking up at the trees. I love tall trees. I miss these when I’m at home, because I live in a fairly new development that is only as old as I am (points if you know how much that is!)  

So it’s fall again, and I’m changing some things. I’ve come so far in my recovery and every day I feel the ED grip slip looser and looser from around my mind. I’m becoming me again, which is an altogether frightening and wonderful feeling. Rediscovering life is so fresh, every day I am faced with new realizations and challenges. If you’ve been down the dark road of Anorexia, you know it’s a slippery slope. Now that I’ve poked my nose into the sunlight, I don’t ever want to go back down there. It’s hard, of course, but the things I’m learning and experiencing now make everything more than worth it.

Therefore, I am thinking of changing my blog up a bit. I love taking food pictures and posting about what I eat, and I’ll continue to do this as I enjoy food more and more. However, there is a lot going on in my mind more than food now. I’m thinking about my future, my past, philosophy, the world, anything really. I want to share some of this with you. Insights I have, tips I’ve found helpful, musings, questions. Let me know what you’d like to see.

Love, Hannah

I’m thinking of doing a Q&A post, if you guys would like to send me some questions!! You can email me, formspring me or tweet me or comment below. 





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