Category Archives: frustrated

Mellow Mondays


Why does everyone hate it so? I’ve never felt that drag of a feeling everyone describes as, ‘the mondays,’ but I can feel a bit of a general drag today.

Because my exams are now over, as of friday (yay!), I’m left with basically two free weeks until I’ve got Field Day

Music all day!

on 2nd June and then a couple more days until I go to Morocco!



So until June, I’m completely unoccupied.

Being a person given to Anxiety, I’ve made myself a giant list of things to do if I feel lonely, anxious or bored. One of those was to go to the Wellcome Collection today, after I returned my books to the library. But apparently someone is testing me, because nothing on my list if open on mondays!

Resigned to sit on my bed all day (kidding) I’ve been cleaning out and organising my internet bookmarks. Seriously? Do I really need five links to the same cauliflower pizza crust? Why on earth do I have that article from 5 years ago in my bookmarks folder named, ‘awesome youtube,’ and what on earth does the folder ‘banana’ contain (hint: it isn’t banana recipes).

I’ll share with you some of the fun links I found though, because it is as much fun for me to rediscover them as it was to find them the first time.

1. 43 Things – This website lets you set goals, see others who have the same goals as you, and cheer and be cheered. You can check off when you’ve accomplished something and write a little blurb about it.

2. Wedding Gawker– I’m assuming you’ve all seen Food Gawker (another favourite of mine) but if you haven’t found yourself its Wedding component, set aside some hours. For a girl who hasn’t even ever dated someone, I love to dream on this site.

3. Regretsy– You guys know Etsy, right? Well this site is like etsy, but the products have gone a bit….off. Where else can you find cinnabon earrings, foaming cake batter body wash, and top 5 bag overalls.

4. Sporcle- Sporcle gives you timed quizzes based on a given topic of your choice. My first year room mate was constantly on this site, and I’ve since developed a similar fondness, although cannot say to have spent nearly as much time quizzing as she had :) The quizzes are actually good for learning as well, such as countries in Africa or name the presidents.

5. The Oatmeal- I surprise myself sometimes with what I find and enjoy online. I wouldn’t peg myself as a webcomic reader, but this blog has some really hilarious things such as the one I’ve linked to where the author describes just what we mean when we say, ‘literally’ It’ll make you think thrice before you say it again, or at least laugh as you use it incorrectly!

So besides refinding joy in the internets, what have I been doing with myself? My friend S and I went to see Foster the People a couple weekends ago. It was a pretty good show- they even played the same song twice (we had a talk about whether this was by accident or not)

Bad lighting good friends.

I would have to say though, that my favourite part was the lighting. It was so dark and we were way up in the balcony (which is what you get with £15 tickets) but we could hear (everything but each other) and see the light show.



Brixton is lovely at dusk.

There was one point when bubbles came down from the ceiling, but we couldn’t get under them because we were on the balcony.

balloons or bubbles?

I’ve done the dark room-wet bubble/foam thing, if you remember, and it wasn’t fun.

**** Me, It’s Easter foam cannons were SUCH a night ruiner.


Beams of light

My friend D and I have walked around London some, Borough Market (DELICIOUS MUSHROOM PATE!) and Tate Modern (strange). We came across this and he had to take a picture with his fancy film camera in B&W.

I’ve always wanted one of these pictures.

Obviously, I wasn’t paying attention.

D and I also found an interesting nonconformist colouring book at a local bookshop. I will be getting this for my kids.

anti tradition

D got one of those super fancy swirly coffee drinks.

AND I got to see the barista do it!

I’ve been to Borough Market many times, and yet I never feel quite right about taking pictures while I’m there. I might go again later this week and see whether I can overcome this because if you want to see food beautifully presented, Borough is your place! So I took an awkwardly close picture of myself instead on my walk home?

All awkwardly photoshopped so that you can NOT see all my pores.

Oh, and those are ear phones, not supersonic bionic silver ears or giant earrings. And you thought I was starting a new trend.

I promise that once I get home and have access to some assemblance of schedule and more picture taking, I won’t do mostly photo/mind dump posts. I realise they can be difficult to follow.

But while we are on the topic of being random, I’ve got these ‘table talk’ cards from home that somehow made their way into my suitcase (I blame…..Mom encouraging me to be social?) The first question on it is, ‘If you could get a VIP pass into any special event, what would you attend? What would be the best way to celebrate it?’ My answer? Well, 3rd June is the Jubilee here, and I would love VIP tickets to get to spend the day with the Queen and get to know her and have fun together. I’d celebrate by eating eaton mess with her in a beautiful garden somewhere.

I’m off to work on my Fulbright and listen to Queen

Love, Hannah x


Today I’m posting over on my travel blog –> A Case of Wanderlust 

So I’ll be talking a bit more about things there.

I said I’d get back into blogging but right now I’ve got really itchy arms and a big paper and exams to revise for.

So it will be slow going. I have SO many things I want to say, or muse about or whatever.

such as:

-My love for Tahini
-My experience with social inabilities and how it is to have friends
– Life in London
-How I’m growing
-Changing your mindset
-Do what you love- thoughts on that
-Plans for the future
-Why I can’t wait to go home but I really don’t want to leave London

And more random things I decide to post about.

I won’t post a picture of me because I have a horrible rash on my arms….it’s ugly I swear.

Lately my life has been a bit of this: after finals...

Really, I shouldn’t do work in bed. But sometimes it’s the most comfortable to put your feet up…besides which I turned my bed so that my chair doesn’t fit under my desk because the end of my bed is there so I’m kind of  always doing work in bed aren’t I?

It is our 3 week break here, so I’ve been just chilling, really. My flat mates are gone, and with them their amazing kitchen mess making abilities, so I’ve been actually cooking!

The other day I went to the market and got one of my awesome box of veg for £1 deals. Then I went on a massive roasting spree- eggplant, peppers, onions, sage, cabbage, mushrooms, onions. I also have a little casserole pot with a lid that I got from my Nanny job (they are moving) so I layered veg in that with shepherd’s pie seasoning and baked it for some sort of pottage….and then I stir fried some stir fry mix with black bean sauce. It was an epic evening. All eaten with tahini of course.

and I forgot to take a picture? It was kind of ugly anyhow.

You don’t even need to read this post. I’m just rambling in the small moments before I have to go to work.

Also. I’m not sure where this blog is going. I don’t live and breathe food anymore, and my life is widening. I’m distracted by schoolwork and stressed because of it, which might be putting a damper on my creativity. And my flat-mate messiness problem + lack of kitchen utensils is probably putting a damper on my baking/cooking. All I can say is, when I’m here I’m here, and when I’m not I’m not.

I don’t really blog for a certain response. I blog because I need to say things. Sure, I enjoy the odd comment, but really it’s more for my benefit and pleasure, since I like writing. I like the way words come together. Words. They carry so much meaning and when you put them together they create something. Even rearranging the words in a sentence can change its meaning.


Love, Hannah


Get Real: Part Two

Let’s be honest.

This morning I’m really struggling with body image.  Like it does, it came on suddenly and without explanation. One minute you’re fine, “Oh, I love my legs today” and the next, “Gosh. What the heck. You shouldn’t have done X yesterday, now you’re too thick.”

Um ED? Do you mind? I run the show now.

*disclaimer: I’m not a debbie downer, I’m just exploring my feelings and processing. This is real, I’m real, and real people aren’t happy all the time.

It could have been the fact that I decided to wear leggings today.

Maybe I should try this

Reframe: Leggings are fine. They fit you and make you look strong and slim. There shouldn’t be any clothes you feel you can’t wear. Good for you for trying something new.

It could be that my friend is coming to visit this weekend and I’m nervous about having to eat in front of her.

I hope she isn't expecting this

Reframe: Okay. I know this one is hard, but you’ve got to think. One weekend won’t blow you up, you don’t have to eat pizza, and you eat anyways, so why would doing it in front of her matter? Breathe.

It could be that I’m trying to get too much done at once. Yes, I’m looking at you papers that are not due until January.

Okay, it's not THIS bad :)

Reframe: You’re extremely proactive, starting your papers months in advance. That way you can have  a relaxing time when you go home for Christmas. Although this week is “reading week” you do not need to finish all your essays now. You still have more than a month before you go home.

So it could be any of these things. Point is, what do you do about it? When you feel like all you want to do is crawl in a hole, or retreat back into behaviors, what do you do? It is made worse by dwelling on it, by realizing that old behaviors just don’t work for you anymore. You need to eat, you like to eat, and it’s when this is paired with bad body image that things get difficult.

Today I’d like to focus on what my body does for me. I read a quote this morning that really resonated with me in relation to this:

“The Greatest danger to our future is apathy” Jane Goodall”

Recovery is a process and a process doesn’t mean a fast track. Some days will be better than others and unfortunately, today is one of those others. It is when we forget what we’re aiming for that we are in danger. The days when I forget to eat enough of whatever, when I forget that I eat for my bones, for future relationships, for my family, for my education. It is when I forget that so much of what makes me unhappy now is caused by this disorder.

This is making me emotional.

When I really stop to think about this and actively push against the apathy, I become powerful and strong against this anorexia. I become the one who is in charge, the one who calls the shots on what I think tastes good and what I wear. The one who decides whether I have one piece of toast or two with yogurt for breakfast. The one who decides to love myself with all my imperfections. And in doing this, allow myself to be loved by others also.

The truth is, this is the hard part. The part where I am not so entrenched in my ED that I don’t care. I do care now. I see where I was, where I am, and where I am going, and I want to get there with all my heart. That’s where it is hard. Holding back would be safe, I’ve been there, done that and I know how and what it brings. But the future is brighter, albeit unknown. It involves friends, delicious food, opportunities, maybe my first boyfriend, who knows. It also involves a strong body that can see me through all of these wonderful things that the future holds.

It’s a lot to struggle with recovery when you’re on the brink. A lot to struggle while your maladaptive perfectionism is telling you to get your essays done months before they’re due, but at the same time, preventing you from productivity because you’re afraid you’ll fail.

Here is what I’m focusing on today, to help me battle this E(vil) D(emon)

1. Thinking about what my body can DO for me. It can walk me around London. I can walk to my job, be there for the two girls I Nanny for and get me back safely. I can meander around the city and see sights. I can run to catch a bus.

2. Thinking about something else. This morning I made peanut butter. Tastes good, good for me, makes me happy. Instant fix. Besides, what is NOT totally distracting about a loud food processor?

3. Thinking about my future and not sinking into apathy. Apathy is the same thing as fear and non-action in this circumstance. If I am afraid to recover or afraid of what it would meant to let go, I fail inherently. I expose myself to the dangers of brittle bones, relationship-less life and lost friendships. The more active I am in my thoughts, the more what I desire becomes a reality.

4. Thinking about these feelings. Where did they come from? What can I do? Ignoring feelings will only push them down and resurface them later. Buddhism speaks to the importance of letting feelings arise, acknowledging them, and letting them pass. I believe this this works, no matter how difficult it may be in the moment.

5. Reaching out. Reach out to those people who care about you. My parents are really great supports for me, as is blogging. I know that so many of you have and are going through what I am and can relate. Knowing you’re not alone is something that is spoken of again and again, but it is true. No shame in asking for help. The only shame is self generated. Change your thoughts.

6. Eating. Oh yes. Eating when you’ve got bad body image is probably the LAST thing you want to do but it can really help. Getting into a bad spiral can only bring you down. Chances are, missing nutrients are causing negative thoughts. Carbs, fats and protein are the ones I always miss, and it is true that I need a balance of those daily in order to feel great.

I hope this helps those of you who are struggling with body image today, recovering from an Eating Disorder or not. Sometimes we just don’t love our bodies. It’s okay. We don’t love the weather every day, but we put on our overcoats and brace the wind. We don’t love homework, but we slog through and get the “A” at the end. Life in general isn’t great all the time. But just living, if you think about it, is the most amazing thing. How complex we are as creatures. How much we matter as whole people. Believe me, your friends aren’t friends with you JUST because of a certain part of your body. That would be bogus. Legs don’t talk! Ideas, thoughts, emotions, those form people. What people DO. This is what makes you a person.

Give it a think. Love your body today. I am.

Love, Hannah

Get Real

Hi All.

I was talking to my mom via skype lately and, as usual, we got to talking about recovery and life.

We’re very philosophical, my mother and I.

I do lots of thinking about letting go and the limitations of my ED. Here are some of the things I’ve come across and I need to let go of.

1. I’m letting go of the fact that I’m never going to be tall with long legs.

I wouldn't want to be creepy like this :)

Reframe: My legs are strong and can power me through walking around London. If I didn’t have any muscles, I couldn’t see all the sites!

2. I’m letting go of the fact that I’m not the most social person out there. 


Reframe: It is completely not to enjoy clubbing so much, and I can go out sometimes too. It’s all about balance. I know that my body needs more sleep. I listen.

3. I’m letting go of the need to control every situation around food

Weighing my options

Reframe: I’m learning that food can be a social thing. Eating things others prepare, trying samples or eating because someone offers food to me will not automatically blow me up into a blimp.

4. I’m letting go of the past 

The past can shape me but it will not hold me back

Reframe: Yes, I’ve had social trouble, I haven’t been happy, I’ve had an eating disorder. But that does not have to be my future. I can live the vibrant life I dream about. Looking backwards with one hand holding on is never going to allow me to grow.

5. I’m letting go of being alone

Come find me!

Reframe: I may not have a best friend, and I may have never dated, but there are people out there who will make me feel special, just how I am. My mom says I’m looking for a very rare fish in a big pond. It may be true. I need to do my part to look for them, as they are hopefully looking for me too!

6. I’m letting go of restricting my entire lifestyle 

Money. Such a complex thing.

Reframe: Spending money doesn’t automatically make me a bad person or immediately destitute. I don’t need to restrict spending because I have money to eat, money with which to have fun. When I restrict my money, I become “unfun” and avoid situations. This is the most difficult, as I learn to spend without guilt.

I’m learning. Recovery is a process. I always like to say I’m getting my midlife crisis out of the way early.


Day two of reading week! I went to work yesterday, my first day as Nanny (remember the job that wasn’t going to work out? It did!!) The girls are lovely and the family is just amazing. Their flat looks out over London, which is just perfection in itself. I feel welcomed by their community and it is just a blessing. Isn’t it grand to love your job?

I definitely saw a guy walking down the street with one of these yesterday:

Stuck in the past?

I did a double take and laughed to myself.

I’ve been eating lots of this:

Read: It is now gone

and this 

Curry Spiced Hummus

I’ve been craving chocolate like no one’s business. I’ve been out for a couple days and haven’t been to the shops to get any. I have my eye on this bar:


I love dark chocolate. The stranger the flavour, the better. As long as it hasn’t got Hazelnuts or Pistachios, I’m golden.

I can’t wait until WIAW tomorrow- it’s going to be a good one!

Enjoy your snow. I’m jealous. Perhaps occasion to being out the Christmas music early? I always say never before my birthday (November 24th) but this year perhaps I’ll need to.
Love, Hannah

Living the Busy Life

Wow guys. I’ve been so busy. I’m sure you all can tell I got home from my Hitchhiking holiday in one piece- more on that tomorrow!

I’ve volunteered to take these surveys for London Business School every so often so I find myself in Regents Park many days. It’s lovely there, if you’ve never been. Put it on your list!

What have I been up to? Well an embarassingly long time ago I met Carrie at the Royal Parks Half marathon.

It was busy there!

I walked around and tried to find her, to no success. Finally I found myself a spot next to the start of the race and peeled my eyes looking, thinking it would be just my luck for her to be on the opposite side from where I stood.

See her?

Imagine my surprise when I was shaken from my concentration by “….Hannah?” It was Carrie standing right next to me!

There she is!

I can’t believe she was right there. It was really great to meet up with her, however briefly. We actually ended up meeting up a week later at Whole Foods for a quick shop. What a sweet girl. But our time to talk was limited because off she ran!

These old suckers

I almost got my gait analyzed but the line was too long. These old shoes have been around for a while! I was going to go on a Market crawl but the people who were organizing it didn’t show up.

Oh, Hello London!

I tubed it home.

Check out this escalator

I also mentioned that I went to a Vintage Fair.

Pretty shoddy picture of cupcakes

The lighting was pretty bad, but I tried to take a couple pictures.

It looked like this all around the room

I decided to take the plunge and promise myself that I wouldn’t leave unless I’d purchased something. If you’re new to the blog, I’m petrified to spend money. This is something I plan to post about in the future, because it has a lot to do with my recovery as well as just life in general.

Anyhow, I bought a classic blue wool dress, perfect for whatever I end up doing with my life, as well as London chill. I can’t get a picture with it on, because I haven’t got a mirror and full body self pictures are difficult, but I’ll try to get one without me in it.


I’ve just been exploring, really.

All clean!

Learning how to purify water at the Community Garden.

It's growing!

Wandering around London’s gardens.

A wise sage for me?

Looking up at the trees. I love tall trees. I miss these when I’m at home, because I live in a fairly new development that is only as old as I am (points if you know how much that is!)  

So it’s fall again, and I’m changing some things. I’ve come so far in my recovery and every day I feel the ED grip slip looser and looser from around my mind. I’m becoming me again, which is an altogether frightening and wonderful feeling. Rediscovering life is so fresh, every day I am faced with new realizations and challenges. If you’ve been down the dark road of Anorexia, you know it’s a slippery slope. Now that I’ve poked my nose into the sunlight, I don’t ever want to go back down there. It’s hard, of course, but the things I’m learning and experiencing now make everything more than worth it.

Therefore, I am thinking of changing my blog up a bit. I love taking food pictures and posting about what I eat, and I’ll continue to do this as I enjoy food more and more. However, there is a lot going on in my mind more than food now. I’m thinking about my future, my past, philosophy, the world, anything really. I want to share some of this with you. Insights I have, tips I’ve found helpful, musings, questions. Let me know what you’d like to see.

Love, Hannah

I’m thinking of doing a Q&A post, if you guys would like to send me some questions!! You can email me, formspring me or tweet me or comment below. 




Lost Pounds

I know what you’re thinking.

“Oh no, Hannah’s had a relapse”

“Going abroad was no good for her, I knew anorexia’d get the better of her!”

“She’s been faking it all along, what a shame”

On the contrary, my good people, I’m doing fine. The only thing taking a beating here is my dignity and my productivity.
Let me explain.

I’m quite money conscious. To a point where I try to spend as *little* as possible and never buy things I don’t need if I can help it. This doesn’t just stem from a good frugality gene I may have inherited from my grandmother, but also from my eating disorder and the intense fear of guilt- shoppers/buyers guilt, the guilt of any sort of consumption and guilt for having something that might not be necessary. I feel the need to save my money for a rainy day, whenever that might be. If I’m honest, I have no idea what I’m saving for, but spending even £1 makes my head spin.

I knew spending the year in London, the city touted as one of the most expensive in the world, would put a dent even in my wallet if I didn’t have some way to combat the effects of higher prices. So what did I do?
I advertised online as a Nanny and low and behold, before I even set foot on British soil, I had two inquiries for a position quite near my Uni!

The prospects looked bright and before the first week was out, I’d had a phone call and an in person interview which had both gone well.

By the next week, I’d met the two cute little girls and signed a contract.

Enter choosing classes. I might mention that I did multiple permutations to try both to fulfill my major and to work around my job. I’d had success with this when BOOM–>chaos.

Not chaos, really, but they changed the seminar time for what happens to be the best class I’m taking; “Critical Theory and the Study of Religion.” Sure, I was upset, but they said if you couldn’t make that time, you could go to the Masters section. Fine. But then they rescheduled them both within an hour of each other, on the same day, on a day and during a time when I’m working. Not cool.

Not cool as in, now I’ll have to quit my job. Not only am I losing ££ here (£90 per week, to be exact), but I’m also embarrassed for having to quit after having gotten this far with this wonderful family and leaving the mother to have to begin her Nanny search over again. I suppose I could drop the class, because if I think about it, I’m really here for academics and not to work. Don’t you hate when plans fall through?

Pros of this job: £££ for travel, food and clothing, feeling secure, resume, wonderful relationships, break from Uni life
Pros of the class: great topic, awesome discussion, great for thought, philosophical, gets me thinking

I’m kind of floundering here. I’ve gotten nothing done today because my mind has been filled with this problem. I’m feeling afraid that I won’t feel like I have enough money to feed myself and to go traveling like I’d wanted to. I’m worried I’ll never leave my room now and that SAD will get the best of me in the upcoming dark months. I know it’s not so serious as all that, I get a food stipend from my school and my parents will pay for whatever it is as long as I’m happy and healthy. I know all these things but I’m just feeling at a loss right now. I’ve thought of just sucking it up and emailing the mother and telling her I cannot keep the job, suffering the major embarrassment (I’ve also borrowed something of hers so I’ll have to see them again :/) and devoting time I’d have used for the job to writing a book.

Basicaly I’m suffering from an existential crisis here. I’m feeling a bit lost with what I’m doing  with my life. Maybe I’m looking too far into the future and focusing too much on the present at the same time. There must be something good that will come out of not being able to have this job, I’m just not sure what it is. Maybe it’s time to write the book I’ve been saying I was going to write for the past couple years.

Reality Check: even if I’d made £90 extra a week, I probably wouldn’t have that much time to go traveling anyhow and I probably also wouldn’t have felt good about spending that much extra money on food/eating out/shopping anyhow. I never do.

Sometimes when I’m walking down the street, I get so stuck in my head I forget to look at one of my most favorite sights, where the rooftops meet the sky and the architecture and nature around me. I look down and my forehead is probably furrowed in thought. When I remember, I look up, and see how many opportunities and differences there are around me. I think this might be one of those times to look up.

I’ll leave you all with some pictures since this has been somewhat of a word heavy post. Also, if you’re more into the food/travel/pictures thing, check out my earlier post! 

Look up!

Love, Hannah




Let’s see then

So this is an experiment. I’ve been using Picassa to upload my pictures to the web and although it’s slower, it seems to work. I’m still in the process of figuring out how to self host or do something that allows me to upload in large batches, but for now, this will do, eh? At least I get to post!

I'm back!

Yes, Mom and Dad came back through London and we hit up the National Gallery. I wasn’t in the mood, but I’ll post about that soon. This was me trying to have a bit of fun, despite having pretty negative feelings, but not wanting to ruin our only day together.

So…after a major

this was actually a sign! I picniked it though :)

I’m back and ready to rock! I’ve been running around here and there, so I think I’m going to have to focus my posts a bit more. Sometimes I think I just sort of get so busy that when I get to blogging it’s like a mind and picture dump, which might not be the best and most interesting thing to read. Let me know! Would you like to see more focused posts based on days of the week or just day to day recaps of everything as a mish mosh?

The day after Mom and Dad were here I was feeling really down. I’ll do a post about this soon, but let’s say I spent the morning in a state. Finally I hoisted myself out of my room and went to the Community Garden opening day event, which luckily is right behind my Hall!!

Beautiful in the middle of London

This got my mind off of feeling alone and allowed me to start meeting people. We made some veg skewers


and had some homemade beetroot hummus (I miss my food processor already!)

People brought things to share, it was quite the event. 

and I even got into some artsy stuff, appropriately for a community garden, I’d say :)

This came off later though when I washed my hands

I’ve been wandering around a bunch as well, taking long walks and sort of just losing myself. 

I was crossing the street when I glimpsed this beauty:

Elliptical bike!

He was riding and I was walking, which explains the horrible photo quality, but seriously? An elliptical and a bike in one? Score!

I’ve been enjoying the last of the wasa crackers I brought from the states with the plums I bought and some laughing cow cheese. Love that stuff but I can’t wait to run out so I can make yogurt cheese!

I already bit in and then took a picture. typical.

Found a 4 pack of Soya puds at Whole Foods for £0.99- score!


I tried a bit on top of a spaghetti squash I’d bought at WF as well. This with more of Lizi’s Treacle Pecan granola. Seriously guys, try this stuff. Yum!

delicous combo. Try sweet spaghetti squash- do it! Rawr. left some seeds in.

I think this new picassa thing is going to work just fine :)

Love, Hannah

Life at Uni

Why hello,

This is officially the second week of Freshers, although courses have begun today! We shall see how my courses go, I’m hoping they’ll be as exciting as I hope they will be. If I believe they will, they have the possibility to be, don’t they?

Rye breads. That's how it goes on.


Add laughing cow cheese for spreadable perfection

That there is a good picture. Want to see some of the things I see?

just walking to school

I spied this walking to SOAS campus the other day.

I debated taking this picture for about 2 minutes. then finally got my camera out and did it.

I pass this Falafel place every time I go to and from Uni. It’s how I know I’m on the right route.

Someday perhaps I'll try it

I took this one just for my Mom. She loves Corgis. I know you’re reading this Mom and I hope you and Dad are safe in the States by now.

Corgis are just the cutest rolly polly little things aren't they?

SOAS has a yurt!

I'm planning to sleep in this yurt on tuesday night....maybe

There is a Hare Krishna cart that comes round every day at lunch time and I stood in the massive queue the other day. I’d packed myself that rye and laughing cow sandwhich, but somehow this seemed nicer. I couldn’t bring myself to eat all of it, but I had a bit and it was nice.

I think it's lentil dahl over basmati rice pilaf with a piece of blueberry almond grain bread.

I pass this sometimes too. It’s goodenough, I suppose ;)


Just some lovely row houses. I love homes from the back. It’s like a little peak into what people’s lives are like.

with the beautiful

This store sells plastic/vinyl clothing. You can see where it got its name then.


View from my window? (taken from the ground outside)

The sun lends to making it look less....concrete

And the inside of our building complex. Halls.

There's a bit of a nice courtyard in the middle


round. quite pleasing.

The inside view isn’t so nice. My flatmates, lovely as they are, don’t like to clean.

alcohol and distasteful playingcards. Okay.

I actually came in this morning and they were mopping. Bless them. After I tried to at least wipe the whole thing down the other night.

Been there for about 3 days....not cool guys.

They’re even cooking dinner for the flat tonight, which is pretty sweet as well.


I’m being awful and lumping them together. They’re lovely people but I guess I’m just the “weird clean one?” I don’t really know how to approach the topic of cleanliness with them.

Got this all at the Freshers Fayre

Nor do I know how to stop them from eating the food I bought. I’m not possessive (yes I am) but I pay for that!

Like this baby! Crown Prince Squash.

They gave out little Caramel Latte samples at the Fayre.

I don't think I liked it :)

And some fruit.

this stufff is good now I need some nuts to eat along with it. Best combo, am I right?

Has anyone tried Crown Prince squash?

More updates soon!
I’m in the process of ironing out my blogging platform and picture situation. Again, if you know anything about self hosting, please email me!
Love, Hannah


So basically, this is all about what I would eat on my last wednesday.

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Cinnamon Pumpkin Waffles?


Gingerbread Pancakes


Cakebatter Pancakes?


Or perhaps I’d be ready for my huge cinnamon roll challenge?

Pumpkin Cinnamon Bun?


Lunch might be….a hummus plate?

Hummus = love

or perhaps it would be….

Roasted Veggie Pita?


Quesadilla! (this was indeed good)


cereal with almond milk?

yogurt mess?


salad beast?

salad beast II?

salad beast III?

I love salads so much!

Dessert would also occur.

rhubarb crisp?

Spice Cake with Penuche Frosting?


Really, there is just so much, I can’t even decide. These were just pictures I came across and thought looked good. I guess I don’t really want it to be the last wednesday ever cause I’d freak out for not being able to choose!

Here’s what I really ate:


Kabocha Squas with maple syrup and cinnamon. With a soymilk/greek yogurt/peanut flour dipping sauce.


Kabocha squash is so dense and buttery. I do declare I like it the best!!


Pesto grain crackers, roasted veggies, celery, salsa and hummus. I love hummus lately, the number of jars in my fridge threatens to outnumber my nut butters…..only not really ;)

Around 230 I snacked on some ants on mini logs and some unpictured Baked Salt and Pepper Kettle Chips


wow I take rather terrible pictures

We went to my G’s district field day where she won 2nd place in the 4th grade hurdles!!

It was hot when I got home and I wasn’t hungry (weird!) so I just whipped myself up this sucker with 2 cups of soymilk, some ice cubes and a couple handfuls of blackberries

epitome of bad photography right here folks

This is probably the worst picture I’ve ever taken. I didn’t even bother to retake it without flash. I hope for your sake (and mine) that you never have to see such shoddy photography skills again.

There you have it. WI(really)AW.

I’ve been having sort of a mehhhh couple of days body image wise. Not like full on terrible, just sort of uncertain. I’m hoping I can bring myself out of a funk, so we shall see…

off to clean like a vacuum machine!

Love, Hannah

Flimminin Flum

So. Opperation: Cinnamon Bun was a huge F.A.I.L.

so I’ll be honest with you.

Basically, I ended up coming home and making a huge nummy mess for myself which ended up tasting better, IMO. Well, who knows since I didn’t get it butttt

Mr. Purple

I was going to make myself waffles out of this amazingly colorful item but I added too many and had to scrap the batter. <– this went against my “don’t waste things” rule and I freaked out a little. Nothing that would phase me though, I’m made of steel today!

I decided to do project “use up what I have in the kitchen” and promptly cut up a plum, an apricot, a banana and a handful of blueberries to put into a yogurt mess. I topped this with 1 cup Maple yogurt and 1/2 a block of tofu (I’m loving on tofu lately- so much protein!) I whizzed that up in the blender with a rather large gloop of soy milk.

look at that flow!

I took out roughly 1/4 cup peanut flour, 2 tsp almond butter, 2 tbsp greek yogurt and 1.5 tbsp maple syrupand mixed it together to make a sauce.


I interrupt this to show you an important picture:

these bushes will soon hold blackberries

but this wasn’t good enough. so I added 1/2 a banana. 

like lace!

but this wasn’t good enough either. So I added Barbara’s Puffins, Barbara’s Oatmeal Squares, Kashi GoLean, Nature’s Path Flax Plus cereal and total flakes.


then I mixed it up.

looks gross, tastes divine

This was even a bit scary because it was
a. tons of protein
b. carbs
c. I added more fat in there than I would have usually with the almond butter. But I was feeling brave and boy was I glad for that sauce. YUM
d. maple syrup which is usually an “unnecessary”

So maybe I didn’t do my cinnamon bun challenge. But I did come home and have something that I loved. Check my challenges tab soon for an updated list. Any ideas?

More recent eats:

Strawbs and....

a Strawberry Parfait! 
-1/2 cup oat bran
-1 tbsp chia seeds
-1 cup strawberries
-1/2 cup greek yogurt

layered it up in a cup!

this cup is so tall!

made some sweet Edamame dip!

green and mean

and I had some down right delicious mushies:

serious yum right there

AND I tried my first marshmallow in 6 years!! This thing. I’m telling you!

in all her glory

and I roasted away!! I like my marshies burnt. How do you like yours? Have you tried the vegan ones? They’re pretty darn tasty! 

a bit frustrated?


and I grew my relationship with this food:

nope, not nectarine

Tofu: it’s what’s for breakfast….at least it was the last couple days!


and of course, everything is better when it’s topped with some sort of nut butter.

lookie here

peanut butter sauce with cinnamon.

close up

That’s all I got guys. Gearing up for a hot and humid week. Not my cuppa tea, but that’s alright, neither are giant cinnamon rolls apparently.

Thanks for all your support. I really needed it and I know you’ll all always be there whenever I decide to take on something more managable.

Love, Hannah



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