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I cannot

A stark change from yesterdays euphoria but
I cannot express my feelings at this moment.
This has hit too, too close to home, finally, and it strikes my heart.
I just received an email from the Dean of the college to express her condolences for the recent death of a student, yesterday. This girl was a senior, due to graduate in may. She was a double major, author of a blog, successful leader of our chapter of Active Minds and had been recently accepted at two graduate schools.
This girl had an eating disorder.
We’ve never spoken but I’ve seen her many times across campus, speaking out for recovery and advocating for education about the illness. I can’t tell whether I wish we had spoken, or if I would be more upset having had made a relationship with her. I can only tell you that this is real. People can die from this. I could die from this. You could die from this. We need to remind ourselves what really matters.
Is it the size our our bodies? or what is in our hearts? Easier said than done, I know. I’m one to talk; who struggles between two sides of my own mind daily. But I need to make these choices and this serves as a reminder of what is the right thing for me to do. What I am meant to do and what can truly open my life to all the things on my bucket list and beyond.
This isn’t something you just hear about. It is right outside your front door, it is on your campus of 2500 women.
and all I can say is
well, to be quite honest, I cannot say right now. I’m at a loss for words. My heart is full of love and hope and support and respect for all those struggling with Eating Disorders and I hope that we can all take things like this and truly give them thought.

And to this bright young woman: We will miss you. The world, and I, who have never even told you my name.
Rest in beautiful peace.


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